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Eggy_does_writing

Eggy_does_writing

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Just a proud queer and poc who likes to write

2020-07-30 JoinedUnited States
-d

Writing

1h

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28
  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing7d
    Posted

    So this is my first omegaverse story but I'm very familiar with the bl genre. I'm a fan of it and the omegaverse is a really interesting trope that I've always wanted to get into. Things I liked: Characters! Wonho seems like a really intelligent person with a good head on his shoulders. His friends seem pretty interesting as well. I like how his social circle is very diverse and has a few alphas as his friends despite being an omega. Events. Like, woah! I don't wanna spoil anything but that one scene was really intense! I really liked the scene where Wonho's friends are helping him after the traumatic event. That shows how much they care for him and I'm a huge fan of healthy friendships. Those don't occur too often in romance stories, unfortunately. World building. I'm aware of what alphas, betas, and omegas are, however, deltas are a completely new thing to me. I've heard about how society in omegaverse treats each secondary gender. Therefore, I think the author is very on point with how people treat Wonho after he's labeled as an omega. Minwoo. So far, I like this guy. He's done some things, like refused to drug Wonho, that really surprised me. The synopsis made me assume that he was going to be one of those unsavory male love interests who manipulates and forces the protagonist to do things that they don't want to simply because the love interest has some sort of power (wealth, status, etc.) and good looks. I see lots of character development possibilities for this man. However, I just wish he was introduced into the story sooner. Things I disliked: Deltas. This group is considered to be either disabled or psychopaths/sociopaths simply because they are the product of two betas. I personally am not a fan of this type of characterization where a group is antagonized like that. That's just my personal opinion. Grammar and Punctuation. The author uses apostrophes for dialogue instead of quotes. The grammar isn't the best but it's not terrible. Overall, I really enjoyed this story so far. Keep writing, author! [img=recommend]

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    The Claimed Omega [BL omegaverse]
    LGBT+ · Tiffany_JC
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    Right off the bat, this story is very intriguing! I really like the premise, the world building, and the characters. Lenna is my favorite secondary character mainly because I really like parents who are very supportive and encouraging towards their kid's goals. I also really enjoyed the descriptions of the settings, characters, and even their attire. Overall, great story!

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    The Trials Of Adira
    Fantasy Romance · AGirlHasNoName20
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    This story feels like a mashup of Hunger Games and Ender's Game. I'm a couple chapters in and this story is pretty cool. The MC is rude to everyone but it's a great set up for character development for later on. The other world building is really interesting My only issue is the grammatical errors but that's about it. Overall, cool story!

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    Met You at The Game
    Fantasy Romance · KimiYorie
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    Two chapters in and this story is pretty cool! The descriptions of the fighters is really cool and the fight scenes are very intense. I feel bad for the MC because of how he is treated by both his coworkers and his audience. I found a few grammatical errors but nothing too huge. Overall, great story!

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    World's Strongest Cameraman
    Magical Realism · SomeoneBad
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read 4 chapters so far and this story is really interesting! I like the Biblical references and the character descriptions. The only thing I had an issue with were a few grammar/spelling issues but that's about it. Overall, great story so far!

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    Island of Mystery and Life
    Fantasy · Crazy_Beast
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read three chapters and this story is pretty interesting so far. I'm usually not a fan of contemporary romance but this felt a little different. The prologue was really heavy in a good way. I was not expecting that! Other than the prologue, my favorite part so far is the dynamic between Rain and her best friend. The dialogue between her and Aria is really interesting and it makes their friendship feel very real. Neutral stuff. Tbh, when the author started introducing a bunch of different male characters within a couple of chapters (not including the brother), I thought this was supposed to be a reverse harem (or just a harem). There's nothing bad or good about that, it's just an observation I made. Now for the negatives. The grammar is kinda poor in certain parts. Rain mentions that her brother has a 'mental' problem. I feel like the author could've written that part better by describing what it is exactly since there's a lot of different mental conditions in the world. It just doesn't make sense for her to describe his condition very vaguely, as if she barely knows him and anything about his condition despite being his sister. Overall, great story!

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    My Memory of Love
    Romance · AToastForADay
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read a couple of chapters and this story is interesting so far. The prologue was pretty intense and I like how the author described the president. I feel like the author incorporated their personal views on politics and how the politicians can be very questionable. For the characters, I originally thought that Hitomi was gonna be a cliched "I'm not like other girls" girl but she's not. Instead, she admires her best friend, Minako, even though she is the complete opposite of her. She mentions that people view Minako as promiscuous but Hitomi doesn't seem to think any less of her friend, which is a good thing since it shows that Hitomi is not super judgmental towards what other people do with their own bodies. I also like how the author described the Smiths. It feels like the author is taking from their own experience of what Mormon families in the US are like. I liked how the author described Hitomi's experience in the US and how the change impacted her. I thought it was very appropriate for the author to include Bible quotes at the beginning of each chapter since this is a story that involves angels. Now for the negatives. Mainly just poor grammar. I thought it was a little weird when the author started describing the MC's posterior and chest. However, it then related to Western beauty standards and Hitomi's self image. In that case, it was kinda relevant. But then the author mentioned that people who are muscular and very sweaty are "Totally worth it", which I thought was weird. Overall, this story is pretty interesting!

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    a world without
    Martial Arts · JP_TransLaLa
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Commented

    Or Grace Hopper

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    a world without
    Martial Arts · JP_TransLaLa
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read a couple of chapters with my boyfriend so far and this story is really interesting! Skye is a very strong woman. I really enjoyed her internal monologues. I also enjoyed the fact that the author was able to write accents for some of the characters (including the MC). The descriptions of the settings, characters, and clothes are vivid. The character design is really thorough. It's easy to figure out who is supposed to be who. Skye is my favorite character and my boyfriend really likes Tidas. There were a few grammatical errors. Also, I like the fact that Skye refuses to conform to ridiculous gender expectations during that time period but I didn't like the fact that she kept on saying that she is not like other women. Overall, great story! I am looking forward to reading more

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    Dawning Skye
    Fantasy Romance · Sara_Wilcox
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read 4 chapters so far. This book reminds me of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark but with a mix of comedy and other genres. All these stories so far were very different and odd, yet interesting. My only issue was the poor grammar but that's about it.

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    Nimble
    Fantasy · TaintedMetal
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read 3 chapters and this story is pretty interesting so far. My favorite part was the world building. The continent seems like a very surreal place imo. I also liked the dynamic between the MC and his grandfather. The fact that they sell medicine and have to travel throughout the land is a great way to introduce the audience to various different characters. The grammar was not the best since I spotted a few errors. I felt like the author said 'Celestial Sky Continent' too much and needs to either abbreviate it or just call it the continent every now and then. The name is fine but it's just annoying when it's mentioned numerous times in the same paragraph. Also, censoring the swear words was very unnecessary and it took me out of the story a few times. If you're worried about getting in trouble for using those then use similar words that are 'safe' (example: darn, heck, gosh) or just don't incorporate those words into your story at all. Overall, this story is pretty interesting so far!

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    Rise of The Banished Azure Sky Prince.
    Eastern Fantasy · mynightskies92
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read a couple of chapters and the story is pretty great so far! Winter is a really interesting character. This feels like a dark, ***** version of Cinderella. I like how the author describes the settings and the appearance of characters. The character design is great and it's clear who the audience is supposed to root for and who the audience is supposed to hate. The only things I didn't like were the grammatical errors along with an inconsistency about Winter's mother. One moment, they say she was a maid and another moment, they say she was an escort. Overall, this story is pretty great so far!

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    Winter's Storm
    Fantasy Romance · RamataMaguiraga
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Commented

    Making my way down town, walking fast, faces pass as I'm home bound

    Making my way through the town, my excitement had gotten the better of me. It's been ages since I was able to smell the fresh air of the town outside!
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    Winter's Storm
    Fantasy Romance · RamataMaguiraga
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Commented

    Nice!

    "You're right sister, Duke Anthony shouldn't have to choose," I said and she smiled as though expecting that answer. "…so, he has to go with me, don't you agree?" I questioned her innocently as her eyes widened in surprise.
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    Winter's Storm
    Fantasy Romance · RamataMaguiraga
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read 6 chapters and the story is pretty interesting so far! First, the positives. I liked the fact that the author included the time, date, and location at the beginning of each chapter. It makes the story feel like a crime show where the date and locations are displayed at the beginning of every scene. I also liked the fact that there was some representation for Southeast Asian people (author mentions that Carmela seems to be Indian), which is something that I don't see much of in many popular stories. The author describes the surroundings really well and with lots of details. The action in the first chapter was very graphic and the author also incorporates really nice foreshadowing in the second chapter. The ******* between Carmela and Katrina was pretty intense and well written and felt like a soap opera. Next, neutral stuff. Not a fan of Margo due to her homophobia, the fact that's she's really intrusive about Carmela's life, she seems very spoiled, and her overall bad attitude. I'm guessing that she is one of the main antagonists that the audience is supposed to hate. Author, if that was your goal, then you did a great job! Now for the negatives. There's a bunch of grammatical errors and I had an issue with the design of two of the characters. As a member of the LGBTQ community, I feel like Mina's character could've been written better. So far, he's the only gay character in this story and he feels just like a huge stereotype. The author constantly points out the fact that he's gay, which is great and all, but it feels like that's his only personality trait. I don't believe the author had any bad intentions with this character but I just think that part could've been done better. Along with that, Zoey's character doesn't have much depth either. The author constantly brings up the fact that she is rude and has a bad attitude, yet only shows it in chapter one. Zoey herself is very aware of it, yet doesn't seem to do anything to change it. The author constantly brings up Zoey's nasty attitude as if that is her only personality trait. Both Mina and Zoey feel very one-dimensional while Carmela's character had a lot of depth. I felt that was kinda weird since they are the MC's best friends. Overall, this story was pretty good! I really enjoyed the plot so far.

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    Ten Darkest Secrets (Betrayer Series Book #1)
    Contemporary Romance · bibiyenini
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Commented

    Why is Carmela hiding that from her best friends? Why is Xyrelle hiding that from his own sister?

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    Ten Darkest Secrets (Betrayer Series Book #1)
    Contemporary Romance · bibiyenini
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Commented

    Girlfriend as in friend who's a girl or girlfriend as in romantic partner?

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    Ten Darkest Secrets (Betrayer Series Book #1)
    Contemporary Romance · bibiyenini
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Commented

    Starting to feel more like Margo is looking for someone to be her mom rather than a personal assistant

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Ten Darkest Secrets (Betrayer Series Book #1)
    Contemporary Romance · bibiyenini
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Commented

    Oof

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    Ten Darkest Secrets (Betrayer Series Book #1)
    Contemporary Romance · bibiyenini
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  • Eggy_does_writing
    Eggy_does_writing4mth
    Posted

    I've read 3 chapters so far and this story is alright. I like the idea of a MC who goes from despising the love interest to loving them (enemies to lovers trope). However, there were a few things that I didn't like about this story. My biggest issue was the bad grammar. It took me out of the story constantly. I understood the MC's childhood trauma (I experienced similar situations growing up) but it wasn't really something I would view as a good excuse for her hatred towards men. However, this could be a good starting point for some major character development for Sophie. I didn't like the MC too much but I hated Kayara and Anna a lot. I felt that those two were horrible people. Kayara and Anna both knew about Sophie's trauma but decided to use it against her in their prank. Sophie deserves better friends! Overall, this story was alright and I'm looking forward to reading more!

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    Flawed love
    Contemporary Romance · Dawn_in_dark
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