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Khyati94820

Khyati94820

Lv1
2020-07-24 JoinedGlobal
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Writing

1.7h

of reading

8

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4

Moments

19
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Replied to ky_rine

    Hey, thank you so much❀

    altalt
    The Silent Phoenix
    Teen · Khyati94820
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Posted

    Honestly with the way 2020 is going you might just be right with the assumption of 2022. Let's hope that's not true lol. Love the description, writing style and character dialogue. Keep it up!

    altalt
    Ungranted
    Sci-fi · Josev_Quadra
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Posted

    I found the story intriguing. The graduation ceremony really made me feel like I was there. Since I won't be graduating this year, the one in the book really made me happy. I love the way Seraphine stood up to Gabriel always nagging at her, nice to see the MC has a back bone. The affection there among the group of friends is really heart warming. Keep up the good work!

    altalt
    Entering the Vampire World
    Fantasy · whiteribbon27
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    .*

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Entering the Vampire World
    Fantasy · whiteribbon27
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    two can play the game*

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Entering the Vampire World
    Fantasy · whiteribbon27
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    I'm just 5'0...being 5'4 is a dream

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Entering the Vampire World
    Fantasy · whiteribbon27
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    you have missed the full stops at the end of dialogues in many places.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Entering the Vampire World
    Fantasy · whiteribbon27
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    hey I know I finished my review and all but I wanted to continue reading. So a couple things, 1. Try naming ur chapters differently, smthing that would be more appealing to the reader. 2. I noticed that you used sm words too many times, other might not so it's not that big a deal but it's still a minor issue 3. A couple missing commas, again, not a big problem but it's still a problem. Other than that ur book is seriously amazing and the plot is just ...I have no words!

    Ch 5 Dinner - In Sync
    altalt
    Pursuit of Love : Adorable Husband and Precious Wife
    Urban · KCChakry
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Posted

    The plot here is completely different and unique, it has the ability to attract readers very well. The storyline, the characters, the opening scene all are on point. Really been a while since I found a great book like this. Keep doing what your doing coz it's really awesome!

    altalt
    Pursuit of Love : Adorable Husband and Precious Wife
    Urban · KCChakry
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    Curtain*

    That small movement attracted Lucian's attention towards the woman but he couldn't see anything past the curtains of her hair that was shielding her face.
    altalt
    Pursuit of Love : Adorable Husband and Precious Wife
    Urban · KCChakry
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    That I did,*

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    The Fraternity
    Fantasy · RD_Hughes
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Posted

    I story plot is super interesting and exactly what someone would look for in a book with vampires. The description, dialogue etc is on point. Correct a few grammatical errors and ur good to go!!

    altalt
    The Fraternity
    Fantasy · RD_Hughes
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    hey there, it's not dialogue heavy chap! I thought it was perfectly fine.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    The Fraternity
    Fantasy · RD_Hughes
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    easy to say, hard to keep up XD

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    The Fraternity
    Fantasy · RD_Hughes
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Posted

    The start of the story was a little confusing but that's what made me want to keep going so it's good. Descriptions are adequate but don't try to write a paragraph of description for each person. Break it down and spread it throughout a page or so. And also check out the grammatical errors, I came across a few. The technology and the storyline is really fascinating. You Xiwang and You Zhichi's relationship has been portrayed really well, the brother sister bond shines through. Awesome job overallđŸ‘đŸ»

    altalt
    A FAILURE'S HOPEFUL JOURNEY
    Fantasy · THE_WORDSMITH
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    Try using laughed or chuckled instead of giggled. It gives the doc a more professional appearance

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    A FAILURE'S HOPEFUL JOURNEY
    Fantasy · THE_WORDSMITH
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    doing*

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    A FAILURE'S HOPEFUL JOURNEY
    Fantasy · THE_WORDSMITH
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    I just wanted to point out that changed from You Xi Wang to You Xiwang, was that intentional?

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    A FAILURE'S HOPEFUL JOURNEY
    Fantasy · THE_WORDSMITH
    detail
  • Khyati94820
    Khyati948203yr
    Commented

    You Xi Wang*

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    A FAILURE'S HOPEFUL JOURNEY
    Fantasy · THE_WORDSMITH
    detail