Khyati94820
Writing
of reading
8
Read books
I found the story intriguing. The graduation ceremony really made me feel like I was there. Since I won't be graduating this year, the one in the book really made me happy. I love the way Seraphine stood up to Gabriel always nagging at her, nice to see the MC has a back bone. The affection there among the group of friends is really heart warming. Keep up the good work!
.*
two can play the game*
I'm just 5'0...being 5'4 is a dream
you have missed the full stops at the end of dialogues in many places.
hey I know I finished my review and all but I wanted to continue reading. So a couple things, 1. Try naming ur chapters differently, smthing that would be more appealing to the reader. 2. I noticed that you used sm words too many times, other might not so it's not that big a deal but it's still a minor issue 3. A couple missing commas, again, not a big problem but it's still a problem. Other than that ur book is seriously amazing and the plot is just ...I have no words!
Curtain*
That I did,*
hey there, it's not dialogue heavy chap! I thought it was perfectly fine.
easy to say, hard to keep up XD
The start of the story was a little confusing but that's what made me want to keep going so it's good. Descriptions are adequate but don't try to write a paragraph of description for each person. Break it down and spread it throughout a page or so. And also check out the grammatical errors, I came across a few. The technology and the storyline is really fascinating. You Xiwang and You Zhichi's relationship has been portrayed really well, the brother sister bond shines through. Awesome job overallđđ»
Try using laughed or chuckled instead of giggled. It gives the doc a more professional appearance
doing*
I just wanted to point out that changed from You Xi Wang to You Xiwang, was that intentional?
You Xi Wang*