Spikey_

Thanks for the support, I took a break to get another book off the ground but I’m coming back to this one soon. I don’t have a social media but that is a great idea, I have been making sketches of the characters and scenes so I may make an Instagram.

Yeah this is just confusing, could’ve let him sober up before and discuss with her. Winston is definitely the character you could play that with. He’s too selfless and protective of her to do something like this

Didn’t mention this last chapter for some reason but every time a character talks it’s best to start a new line, hit enter or return. It seems a bit odd but it makes the cadence of the book more smooth. It can also make your book seem longer 😉

The writing is really good, just the occasional grammar issues but that can be fixed. As for someone who gets a mental 3D image of books when I read this is great. A little more focus on light and/or time of day and your golden. The mental image is perfect.

Missed a “be” right here

Rewording to he pushed her by the shoulders would make a little more sense here.

Try a : or ; here. People speak in improper grammar all the time so the run on sentence is perfect but it’s a bit different to read without a pause. The lack of names also makes it hard but I understand the stylistic choice of not using names right now. Love the work so far though

Loving the writing style, this is the first book in a long time that I haven’t had to constantly suggest corrections for silly things like changing to the wrong gender in the middle of a sentence.