thank you. this means a lot ^^

So this is the character's personality: She was born into a Christian family and the religion was forced on her. She lives a "perfect" life, but she doesn't want to live that way. She's so used to having everything when she wants it, it gets annoying. She's the perfect pastor's child and that's how people see her, she's treated like a 'perfect child,' but she wants to live a normal life. That's why her wish was to start a new life. So, I'm trying to add realistic points about depression into her. I know what depression is like and what cutting and suicide feels like. Cutting is a way to get distracted form emotional/mental pain. And ending your own life is a big decision. A lot of people around you will be affected even if it doesn't feel like it. So yeah, suicide is hard to commit, even when your depression is severe. She isn't every liked at school because people are 'jealous' of her status. I have not read kimi ni todoke, but it is on my read list. If there's something you still don't understand, feel free to ask me. Sorry for the confusion. She has a pretty complicating personality. I don't know how to describe it right away.