Demetrius_Eversoul
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Demetrius_Eversoul7dCommentedwould just like to point out the steady improvement in your writing as the story continues 👍 doing great
"Thank you, Marine, I knew I could count on you." With that, the man turned around, and without waiting for her to say anything, he returned to his house.- Demetrius_Eversoul9dReplied to Flammenwurfer
that's the reason he said it's the most versatile idiot
"A sword can pierce, it can cut, it can bash. It can be used effectively at a variety of ranges. It is swift and maneuverable. Every part of the sword, from tip to pommel, can be used to attack. While wielding a sword, you won't be the best at everything. But you'll be the most adaptable." - Demetrius_Eversoul9dReplied to Veretheragna
careful your ignorance is showing
"The same logic can be applied to combat. A sword is not the most effective tool in every situation. A spear is more useful against enemies with long reach. A war hammer is much better against armor. A mace is easier to maintain. However, swords are the most versatile." - Demetrius_Eversoul9dReplied to AlcatrazIsland5
spear are for idiots that can't learn sword skills fight me
"That depends on your goals. However, the sword is considered to be the king of weapons for a reason." - Demetrius_Eversoul11dCommented
this honestly should've been done within the first few chapters is just feel immensely out of place at this point still love the story
A Little Bit of World Building - Demetrius_Eversoul13dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
lol no stress just do what you do and I'll keep reading promise 😊
He didn't know why Nell was called by her, but, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was going to happen. - Demetrius_Eversoul13dPosted
- Demetrius_Eversoul13dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
that makes allooottt of sense promise you won't lose me as a reader
He didn't know why Nell was called by her, but, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was going to happen. - Demetrius_Eversoul13dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
your all good you won't be losing stars from me I promise I have fallen in love with your story to be honest
A moment ago, after saving her from the abusive lady, Nell had given her enough food to eat so that she wouldn't be starving. He had also brought her to a hair salon to cut her hair, and also to take a bath, and to change her clothes. - Demetrius_Eversoul14dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
😆
For the last week, Nellas had been trying his hardest to find a female, who would agree to marry him, but his attempts were met with failure. - Demetrius_Eversoul14dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
all good honest I criticize another but your doing good job and the story grabs you 👍
A moment ago, after saving her from the abusive lady, Nell had given her enough food to eat so that she wouldn't be starving. He had also brought her to a hair salon to cut her hair, and also to take a bath, and to change her clothes. - Demetrius_Eversoul14dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
yes please 🙏
Instead of being in a dungeon, he was in a void, a black abyss. - Demetrius_Eversoul14dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
I get it it just seemed like he was after it more for himself or atleast that was my takeaway also I love that you interact like this
"Ember," He grabbed her hand and took out the Darkest Night ring from his pocket, and then, he put it on her left hand. - Demetrius_Eversoul14dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
lol came has a double meaning in English and a few of us just made jokes about it don't worry your wording is actually fine
"I came," - Demetrius_Eversoul14dReplied to AmDevilCrafts
would like to say despite criticism I am honestly loving this story so far
He didn't know why Nell was called by her, but, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was going to happen. - Demetrius_Eversoul15dCommented
surprised Noone called out the yugioh reference js
'Could it be the Dark Magician?' - Demetrius_Eversoul15dCommented
saying her with no context on who "her" is makes no sense how are we the readers supposed to know who your are talking about when we have already me atleast 3 female characters
He didn't know why Nell was called by her, but, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was going to happen. - Demetrius_Eversoul15dCommented
thus was literally the first sentence of the last paragraph there was zero reason to repeat it other than to fill in your word count for the chapter do better
'We should buy some clothes for her.' - Demetrius_Eversoul15dCommented"I came,"
- Demetrius_Eversoul15dCommented
hey look something important that was never explained
[Are you sure? Dark Mana Points are really important. If you lose them, you will not be able to use some skills for a while.