Grim999

Imagine that for five years, you undergo training to ride a bicycle with training wheels. The person who should have taught you everything doesn't tell you all the necessary information. You believe it's normal to have those wheels until you realize that what you've been doing so far is wrong. So, you remove them completely and finally ride the bike properly.

Please do tell me if you find it good😁 or bad😅😉

I wrote this fanfic in a different style; I tried something unique where I didn’t want to bore the reader with too many details. My goal was to get to Nevermore while still giving the main character a solid background. During the Nevermore part, I can add moments and characters he encountered along the way. Please keep in mind that I’m working with only one season of a TV show, which, in itself, is quite short. I specified at the beginning of each chapter how much time has passed. The way I wrote the background could have been stretched to 30 chapters before even reaching Nevermore, but I believe no one would want that. The shadows are in a complex area tied to the story—everything is connected, from the orphanage to Baba Yaga and the shadows, which may belong to him or someone else. ;) I won’t say more to avoid spoiling the story. As for your opinion that this isn’t a fanfic, I’m sorry to hear that. For me, it’s a rewrite of a story you already know, adding a new character and integrating them into the original narrative in a way that makes sense. Call it what you like, but for me, it’s a fanfic.

Thanks for the feedback! The last chapter was actually a memory/nightmare reflecting back to when he started hunting monsters. Chapter 10 takes place one week after he met Wednesday—skipping over the more mundane parts of his first week after enrolling. I figured readers could fill in the blanks: he moved in with Thorpe and became good friends with him, as well as starting to get along with Wednesday in some ways. The next chapter will dive more into his school life to give a better sense of his routine and relationships...[img=thinking]

I really enjoyed this chapter, and I think you should write more like this. Changing the character dynamics and how they interact with each other, as you did here, is such a great touch. For example, you could make Yukinoshita more free-spirited and spontaneous at times, like in this chapter. She’s usually portrayed as organized and overly meticulous, but having her grow because of Hachiman’s influence would be amazing. Everyone tends to put her in her sister’s shadow, and sometimes she even does that to herself, but you could show her breaking free from that and becoming her own unique person, unafraid to express her feelings. On the other hand, you could make Hachiman more confident thanks to Yukino’s support. Show them growing together, helping each other become the best versions of themselves. Relationships are about change, and you’re in a perfect position to highlight that! Thank you for this chapter—it was wonderful! [img=Loving it]

I feel like the story would benefit from giving the main character more agency. Right now, they seem too passive, mostly listening and being pushed around by others. While I understand this might be intentional, perhaps to emphasize their shyness, it does make it hard to connect with them during pivotal moments. It’s especially noticeable during important or impactful scenes where they seem unsure or unable to express themselves meaningfully. Allowing the character to take small but decisive actions or at least struggle internally with their choices could make them feel more dynamic and relatable. Overall, it’s a great foundation, but I’d love to see the protagonist grow or assert themselves more as the story progresses...😅

its a good chapter, but I don't know how normal a confession is in the middle of a class with students...?[img=Speechless]

well, you can have all my powerstones sir, this was an amazing chapter(^×^)

Great job on this fanfiction! It’s rare to come across something as original and well-written as your work here. There are times when the pacing feels a bit rushed or the characters come across as a little detached, but overall, the story is captivating and often immersive. I really appreciate the effort you put into crafting this unique story, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing it. Looking forward to seeing where you take it next!

thanks for each comment...it relly helps, more than you think...😅