Red Temple isnt smart, they burn people alive including children. People in Westeros hate R’hllor as well they think he is a heretic god.
The Red keep isn’t that large in fact, the city of Kings Landing limited the size because it surrounded the ‘Aegonfort’ which was before the Red Keep. Maegor the cruel built the Red Keep on top of the old castle. The Red Keep is very tall though, they built upwards no sideways. Moat Cailin originally is the second largest castle in Westeros anyway behind Harrenhal which is the largest.
Yeah it makes no sense really, just impatient to move the story along so they make the MC stupidly big for his age. In AGOT boys are considered men at 13/14 so why the author couldnt wait until he is that age i do not know.
Hey i am curious if this is a seven year old conquers westeros type of fanfic, please let there be some major time skips. Maybe until canon starts and then he can begin being badass as ****.
Robert was one of the best war time leaders in recent history in Westeros. He was known as a war time King, tactically excellent with the ability to inspire intense loyalty in his troops. GRRM said he had the ability to turn his worst enemies into his best of friends he was so gregarious. I understand not liking him but this is ridiculous, making him seem like some sort of retard.
Youre over selling this a bit, tgere are thousands of heros. No way Allan is top 10 at all. He is just a small time vigilante in one city.
Their* - Their is possessive like as in ‘their shoes are red’. ‘There’ is directional as in ‘look over there’ Just a small mistake to rectify
Can’t wait for more, hopefully we can get some empire building, take the trade federation droids and ships and pimp them out, using the droids he has now he can expand into the uncharted areas of space. Should be easy to use droids to colonise the planets and set up droid operated mines and factories. Should be able to carve out a little spot for himself then.
This was kinda cringe, the whole apologising is just super unrealistic, a gradual merging back into the school would be cunning. This would just raise suspicions across the board, make people think the Slytherins are planning something, if they stopped the name calling etc and were courteous then that is fine but written apologies? Yeah sorry lost me there.
He needs to kill or get rid of these ****ers. Hopefully as soon as possible, get evidence on who they all are, then go do some dark shit to them and post his findings to the police, reporters and the internet. Obviously protect the victims identities while doing that. That way they get put away for good and exposed, no leaving this and then having one of his girls get kidnapped and the whole cliché rescue arc of the story. End them now hard and fast.
No worries you haven’t been rude, we are just exercising our right to express what pleases us in a story and what doesn’t. Also the review is useful for people who have similar tastes to see whether they would enjoy the story or not. That way if they love the magic aspect of HP then they see this review amd know the story is not for them so they don’t waste time reading something they don’t find enjoyable!
Hmm, i think you are throwing shade at dumbledore too much. He is 10, plus he has no evidence how does he explain knowing the Potter will has been locked away? Or knowing where Harry Potter is when it is under blood wards which hide him away? This chapter would be realistic if he he said he found evidence that Sirius had no trial and that he needs one. Then he would be able to free Sirius and only after that use Sirius to claim guardianship of Harry Potter. Dumbledore is too powerful to be affected this early on in the story, people only began seeing the cracks in his fame during the events of the Goblet of Fire up until the Order of the Phoenix when the ministry intervened in Hogwarts. You are trying too much when the MC is too young, the trial and reinstating the Tonks’ makes sense for a 10 year old who is looking for family as he is all alone, bjt trying to take down Dumbledore is not realistic. This is a world of magic, if be starts acting like some 80 year old master manipulator people will think he is possessed or something along those lines. My only advice is slow down his plans, he still has years of Hogwarts to get through, so he can plan and act during those years. Also use ‘Grammarly’ when writing it will help with your grammar and spelling so that your story is a higher quality.