Troy_Crossman
I just enjoy reading, during my free time.
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to say something rich from such an open lady... should probably be: to say something, rich, from such an open lady...
I will not send... should be: I will not (spend)...
Do you know someone who had... should be: Do you know someone who (has)...
I grabbed to condom... should be: I grabbed the condom...
my hands trusted her hips... should be: my hands (thrust) or (thrusted) her hips...
eyes as I trusted my fingers... should be: eyes as I (thrust) or (thrusted) my fingers...
Out came a prostate messager. Should be: Out came a prostate (massager).
I told her my voice, confident... The comma is in the wrong place. It should read as: I told her, my voice confident...
(bit) should be (beat)
(broke up) should be (broke out)
(They) should be (There)
(devoured) should be (devoid)
(shuttered) should be (shattered)
(shuttered) should be (shattered)
(on) should be (in)
(shuttered) should be (shattered
(tasted) should be (tested)
I have started to read the story again, after having not read it for the past six months. Unfortunately I am still finding a lot of errors, in the choice of the appropriate words, that should have been used. I truly hope that you can get someone to proof read your story prior to printing it. I will continue to read your story and fortunately I shall continue to add corrections when needed. I will say this. Early on, when you first started the story. I was adding my remarks, then you were making corrections. You have since stopped making corrections. I hope you will once again, start to make corrections to the grammar and punctuation. If you read this, please take it as it is meant to be. Constructive criticism. Thank you, Troy Crossman
"go with one of them or chose..." Should have been, "go with one of them or (choose...)"
"She can chose to move..." Should be, "She can (choose) to move .."