SlowWittedSong
of reading
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I don’t feel the integrity of your story, each chapter looks torn and disconnected from the previous one. correct this shortcoming and send him on a long quest, otherwise superficial periodic skirmishes with local bigwigs do not cause a wow effect. and I like that you don’t push your character to the forefront of the whole world by making him non-violent and popular from the very beginning. Я исправлю обзор когда почувствую улучшения
and so... 55 chapters later I can say for sure that combining the worlds of the Witcher and Skyrim was an unexpectedly good decision that gave us an atypical plot, which makes this fanfic quite cool. and now a huge BUT... your writing style is disgusting, maybe it’s because of the translator that I use for reading or something else, but the text is indistinct and rude, also there are too many rantings about the magical system of the world, even if I’m always for such in-depths, but I can’t say that I approve of something like this when most of what was written in the first act was not plot or interaction with other characters but dry theory
It seems to me that you poorly described the personality of GG, which is why the entire plot that you are building along with the dialogues seems wrong. I would suggest making something like a character sheet like in D&D to define clear boundaries for personalities and abilities. Also please note that you cannot make a character “good” if all of his qualities are positive, but give him flaws that will force him to struggle and grow. and about his chat in the multiverse. I liked that you chose non-epic characters for this (tsunade-kakashi, esdeath) but his interaction (current-future) seems a little strange because three of the group are characters whose dynamics are built on their relationships within them teams. and I would suggest adding more characters that are not in groups or are group leaders; it’s better to build relationships with them.