D_eta015

So far, it is alright, it has a lot of potential to going to different directions. I feel like it needs a bit more dialogue, descriptions, and little more world building. Maybe throw in a few curveballs and some problems the MC needs to deal with. Make the character feel more real, have him some flaws, make him face challenges. It would make the MC varied and nuance with his personality and traits. I wish you the very best on writing this!

Make sure to put on year and dates, it would make it easier to keep track of time and story.

Pretty decent so far, just add a bit more dialogue and interactions between the characters. Maybe a bit more explaination on setting and timeline.

He should distinguish it on being more socially adept and active compared to Sheldon. Just because one’s is intelligent doesn’t mean they are all socially unaware or inept. Especially as an older brother he can help Sheldon not only because he understands him more, but also because he would care as a family.

Also, make the MC not too perfect, make him have some personal flaws, like procrastination/scatterbrained like Leonardo, or being more blunt and too apologetic at times. Sometimes, he should face certain adversities like losing or having relationships issues in order to provide growth and dynamics. Lastly, I suggest the MC should learn different languages and even travel the world, to explore, as it would provide him ideas and experiences as a person. Those are my thoughts

The MC should be able to learn different skills, he’s not limited to whatever he’s gotten.

The MC should have a very good relationship with Georgie, and be a good older brother to Sheldon and Missy. Especially Sheldon. I feel like for the MC family should be very important for him, especially as a formerly Filipino guy. I also believe that he may sing at times, probably from past experiences and habits. Though I don’t expect it.

Does Domeric have a current 11-12 year old appearance? How about Varko and Raksa’s appearance as well?

What?! I’m pretty sure it doesn’t exist in Naruto.

I agree, I hope this will be only for demonstration purposes as the first mass. I think they should have woodworkers, craftsmen, and artisans create those things and providing them a sense of purpose and job to make those things later on. Especially when the protagonist eventually builds a church.