WritingAndWriting

that's good advice. I'll see if I can do that sometime in the next few days.

I can get that POV. I can say that this won't be the same every time we transition from setting to setting and I dislike the idea of the Benefactors being overly involved in the story, myself, so I know we won't get to see them very often.

That's a fair criticism. I work on this a bit in other sections, and there's a chapter coming up where I experiment with it a lot more, and I'd be interested to see what you think of that.

I have actually written another chronicle fix but with an evil protagonist. Funnily enough it's also a jump chain story but I mixed in other stuff and it got... messy. I was a younger, less experienced writer, and while I love that story I always feel odd talking about it. Chronicle is decently popular among the jumpchain community, and it's a somewhat common first jump, which I reflected here! I'm glad you're enjoying it, it's nice that this experimental story is doing well.

This is not a forced struggle. It's a difference in innate abilities and a sign that different people have different specialties. Plus the MC can self heal and has forcefields, and the others can definitely not self heal even if they can use baby forcefields.

That's good to hear!

Well I hope you find a book you like to read somewhere friend.

That's a fair assessment. I am writing this as a self-insert so this is not the MOST EFFICIENT thing in the world, or someone making optimal plays, but a human reacting to things like a human does. Which can be a liability from a story standpoint. That said, I do think some of this is somewhat mitigated by him having meta-knowledge of his perks, specifically, which strongly address some of the plot elements here and work to significantly weaken the threats in this jump. If anything, barring the omega drawback, the perks in this jump basically kill the likelihood of the events of the movie playing out so long as someone isn't an idiot, and this character is cognizant of that and has worked to subtly use the powers granted by the perk to lower the likelihood of something bad happening and has refused to be so overt that he causes something unexpected by introducing new plot elements.

Chronicle is FANTASTIC when it comes to that kind of thing.

You're not wrong.