Kris_Kurniawan
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Kris_Kurniawan10mthCommentedtl;dr constructive criticism, writing could be improved. There's some SAT reading and writing principles which would improve the flow of the paragraph and the story. At the top of my head: When the words or paragraphs correlate, put them closer. The information they're trying to convey would come across clearer with less chance of ambiguities and less jarring, especially when they are trying to be descriptive. If you read enough books within the complexity strata, you will get the feel (+flow) when proof reading and writing. example of complexity strata: light novel should fall within teen strata such as Harry Potter series and Percy Jackson 1st series, while complex novel such as GoT and LotR would fall within adult (21+) strata. Sherlock Holmes original series fall within adult strata, while the edited penguin publisher version of Sherlock Holmes fall within teen strata. fyi, there's also academic strata, children strata, pre-world war and post-world war strata. Just think intersectionality, but for literature (don't go crazy with the division). No matter what style of writing you chose, if the flow of the sentence and paragraph staggered or choppy (jarring choice of words or sequence of sentences, readers can't really immersed in reading and enjoy the story. IF you've read this far, thanks for sparring your time reading my semi rambling comment, I really mean well.
Ch 1 Chapter 001 - Death of James Potter- Kris_Kurniawan10mthCommented
correction. bunbound=>unbound
This paragraph has been deleted. - Kris_Kurniawan10mthCommentedCh -1 Technicalities - details - ideas - plot
- Kris_Kurniawan11mthCommentedCh 39 Dvrakian Mating Habits
- Kris_Kurniawan11mthCommented
ROFL 🤣🤣🤣
"What technique?" He asked with thick sarcasm covering his tone, "All you do is Kawarimi right before you are hit with a singular slip of paper while activating the storage seal on that paper which pops in a paper clone mid-Kawarimi. There is that henge sustained by the clone itself that makes it seem as if my attack really hit you and blood actually spurted out before the clone dissolves back into paper slices a second later. All you do is use Clone Technique, Kawarimi, and Henge." Rei wanted to scream. "So why the fuck is it so hard to freaking hit you! What is this bullshit! You didn't even try to dodge! You didn't take even one step during the entire fight! Kawarimi, Kawarimi, Kawarimi! The fuck is that shit!?" He raged. - Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommentedCh 217 Arriving At Unnam
- Kris_Kurniawan2yrReplied to LightningAsuraCh 217 Arriving At Unnam
- Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommentedCh 1772 The Void (Part 4)
- Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommentedCh 506 Retirement Ceremony
- Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommented
is that Bill Bur quote that I see? I love that joke [img=recommend]
This paragraph has been deleted. - Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommented
ROFL
"Good gods, and here I thought that Lith was horrible with conversation starters. I need to sit down." Elina took a few deep breaths. "Don't worry, dear. A woman's period is nothing complicated. We'll talk about it as soon as my heart starts beating again." - Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommented
damn dat cliff
Syrook slashed the air in front of him and the enchanted gloves, Sunder, boosted his strength to the point of generating wind blades that cut five deep pits into the ground as they approached Lith. - Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommented
Dear good author sir, would you please lower the price for the privilege unlock? 75 coin per ch is very steep in my humble opinion, I'm no whale, just salmon @best. The whales r willing n capable of gifting u daily/weekly luxury car n above, while salmons can only starve if they dare try to act like a whale.
Ch 390 A true strategist - Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommentedCh 381 Augustus Won Knight is back
- Kris_Kurniawan2yrReplied to WM_Dizy
not to mention, that kind of spike in performance would make anyone clumsy until u can adjust; a dash or a sidestep could overshoot, u could overestimate your defense making u vulnerable, a delicate swordsmanship could crumble. If Rudra want to keep that kind of stat a secret, it's better for him to learn how to limit his stat usage with the added benefit of improving your control. the only stat u can't fake with control is defense, but then again, there's debuff mechanic.
Ch 379 Mass Upgrade (3) - Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommentedCh 372 Dinner with the Byzantine Emperor
- Kris_Kurniawan2yrReplied to Kris_KurniawanCh -1 EXP CHAP!
- Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommented
ROFL
'Personal space, dammit!' They replied at her intrusion in their allegedly private mind link. - Kris_Kurniawan2yrReplied to xXTheVigilantXx
to save the time for u guys looking up. Remember the lawyer council member? right after Athung become the Distar Lord, during the hearing to determine who will become Lith master (Raagu vs Faluel). The defense lawyer for Lith, that Lady is from Gernoff household, maybe the Leader of household.
The only reason why the Myrok lacked magical blood to the point of having mostly mages that had married in the family was that the members of the Myrok's bloodline with enough talent were passed to the Gernoff Household to be Awakened. - Kris_Kurniawan2yrCommentedCh 148 Chapter 148: A woman who never forgets.