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Jorioz

Jorioz

Lv2

A French student writing in english to improve my mastery over the language. An amateur writer in need of review to progress.

2020-01-13 JoinedFrance
-d

Writing

41.5h

of reading

217

Read books

Badges

5

Moments

27
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to AncientRavioli

    Therefore it's immune to critical reading?

    Suddenly, the spiritual aura that was enveloping him, increased its pace, making his soul tremble as it was absorbed into a huge brown and blue planet that was 50 times bigger than the planet Earth.
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to AncientRavioli

    That's not how definitions work. If the phenomenon described fits all the criteria we assign to metamorphosis, then it's metamorphosis, not evolution.

    [Evolution has been completed, the host will have to choose a class from the races listed below, as the evolution caused the host to lose his humanity]
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to GentsPlsDontLaugh

    anyway, british place name and derivative are dumb, I think we can agree on that.

    He also met his first love back then. The kid who didn't even know how to spell worcestershire sauce was enraptured by this girl. It was like something out of a romance book.
    altalt
    Lewd Cultivation System
    Games · Daoist_Little_Yun
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Commented

    Bitten? Really?

    "Ew. Did he get bitten by wasps?" Maia asked.
    altalt
    Lewd Cultivation System
    Games · Daoist_Little_Yun
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Commented

    I know the 'uncle' comes from eastern literature, but it's always lost in translation. You simply don't call someone you don't know your uncle in english.

    "Hahh… Hahh… Uncle Horpa?" Maia asked.
    altalt
    Lewd Cultivation System
    Games · Daoist_Little_Yun
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to GentsPlsDontLaugh

    nope, it's actually "woh-ste-sure"

    He also met his first love back then. The kid who didn't even know how to spell worcestershire sauce was enraptured by this girl. It was like something out of a romance book.
    altalt
    Lewd Cultivation System
    Games · Daoist_Little_Yun
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Commented

    Is the author suggesting there is no way to entertain yourself other than vacuuming? Like she doesn't like to read, write, draw, sing, play an instrument, heck play video games ? I think it's pretty obvious the author never talk with a girl in his life and he has some pretty sexist thoughts in the back of his head. That, or the author is an alien that tries to imitate human writers.

    Humans dislike doing nothing. Automatic vacuum robots may be popular in the past, but that changed. There were only so many menial works that humans needed to do these days.
    altalt
    Lewd Cultivation System
    Games · Daoist_Little_Yun
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to shubham_das

    People knew the planet was spherical since the Hellenistic period (at least). Why would Eratosthenes have calculated the circumference of the planet otherwise ? The belief, however, was that Earth was the center of the universe.

    "Hey, you're class 77 and planet 1002 too? It looks like we're from the same world. My name is Julian, what's your name?" said Julian, the boy who spoke with him before.
    altalt
    Earth's Greatest Magus
    Fantasy · Avan
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to Bigen_Games

    Better than being a faquin.

    Suddenly, the spiritual aura that was enveloping him, increased its pace, making his soul tremble as it was absorbed into a huge brown and blue planet that was 50 times bigger than the planet Earth.
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to Bigen_Games

    So you're the type to put your brain on the side when they read? Good for you. I can't say there is a 'wrong' way to read. I do however like to think when I read, and to analyze what's being written. If that doesn't interest you, you can always ignore and go on with your life.

    Suddenly, the spiritual aura that was enveloping him, increased its pace, making his soul tremble as it was absorbed into a huge brown and blue planet that was 50 times bigger than the planet Earth.
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to Bigen_Games

    Great comeback, I realize how wrong my comment was now :/

     Several sex videos were shown to she and her fellow victims, so that they would have an idea as to what to do to serve their master, every night. Even though Manov is an advanced planet with cool technologies, the inhabitants behave more like the people from medieval times on earth.
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to _Inz_

    The world is expressed through the writing. if the writing is bad, world building will suffer as much.

     Several sex videos were shown to she and her fellow victims, so that they would have an idea as to what to do to serve their master, every night. Even though Manov is an advanced planet with cool technologies, the inhabitants behave more like the people from medieval times on earth.
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to Thunderstrike2024

    You clearly don't know much about the history of religion if you think all christian think Jesus is divine. This has been the center point of a lot of religious debate throughout history (most notably at the birth of Christianity) and some christian sect (here sect means a sub-group of a larger religion) have the non divinity of jesus as one of their core belief. Also, Hinduism and other polytheistic don't fit what we know of the world? So does the big monotheistic religions of the world (judaism, christianity, iislam ut also, zoroastrianism, sikhism and many others). Very few (if not none) of the claims they make about the inner workings of the worlds fit with our modern knowledge.

    "No way! There is no way I would believe in gods and shit!" Shay shouted. He looked at Kayden and said, "Come on Kayden. You know me. I don't believe in things I don't see. And stuff like gods is just a myth. No one believes in them. If you do, you will get laughed at."
    altalt
    Gods' Impact Online
    Games · NoWoRRyMaN
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to Thunderstrike2024

    Your description for the null hypothesis isn't correct, you got it in reverse. Null hypothesis are used when testing the existence of a phenomenon or a relationship between two variables. When you want to see if a phenomenon exist, you should consider by default the null hypothesis as the correct and attempt to disprove the null hypothesis by provided evidence in favor of the phenomenon or the relation. In the case of the existence of a divine entity, the burden of proof is therefore on the people who assert one exist, because the null hypothesis, the one admitted by default is "the phenomenon called a divine entity does not exist". If you say "God exist", then you have the responsibility to provide proofs it does exist.

    "No way! There is no way I would believe in gods and shit!" Shay shouted. He looked at Kayden and said, "Come on Kayden. You know me. I don't believe in things I don't see. And stuff like gods is just a myth. No one believes in them. If you do, you will get laughed at."
    altalt
    Gods' Impact Online
    Games · NoWoRRyMaN
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Commented

    Either the author never listened to any atheistic argument (which is likely since the majority of earth population never did) or he's purposely the character use bad argument to exaggerate his flaws. It should be noted that both hypothesis aren't mutually exclusive. It's still a shame it falls in the usual stereotypes.

    "No way! There is no way I would believe in gods and shit!" Shay shouted. He looked at Kayden and said, "Come on Kayden. You know me. I don't believe in things I don't see. And stuff like gods is just a myth. No one believes in them. If you do, you will get laughed at."
    altalt
    Gods' Impact Online
    Games · NoWoRRyMaN
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Commented

    I've seen the author comment that it is an obvious joke, but the text itself is clearly in contradiction with that idea. It's stated that his tone of voice and expression suddenly shift as he says his line. Maybe you intended to make it a "joke" (however tasteless it is) but you couldn't transcribe that idea. the author's intent don't matter as much as how is perceived his text

    "Even if I had done anything, it would be your fault, to begin with," Zach commented. "It's your fault for falling asleep and leaving your body defenseless like that." The calm voice and the gentle smile from earlier were nowhere to be seen on Zach's face.
    altalt
    Gods' Impact Online
    Games · NoWoRRyMaN
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to nightRox

    I know a day is twice as long. My problem is why a 12 year old person behave like a 12 year old when they would be equivalent to a 24 year old.

    Time passed away quickly and Vincent didn't even realize it. He is already 5 months old, but he looks like a 1-year-old baby due to the time interval of the planet. 
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Replied to Aczekial

    I never said it doesn't make sense. I never questionned how life forms could appear on a planet 50 times the size of Earth. All I am arguing is that it is a stupid and useless idea. Why did the author decide to make the planet this size? The only reason I can think of is to invoke an awe factor in the reader, just because of the stupid argument that "bigger is better". Take a step back and think about if it had made a difference if the planet had been a different size. Spoiler, it would not have. The only thing I complained about is the obsession of exagerating every aspect of our world when creating a fantasy world, as if this some kind of weewee contest.

    Suddenly, the spiritual aura that was enveloping him, increased its pace, making his soul tremble as it was absorbed into a huge brown and blue planet that was 50 times bigger than the planet Earth.
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Commented

    One more time, say it with me : This isn't evolution, this is a metamorphosis. Open a biology book and learn your lesson.

    [Evolution has been completed, the host will have to choose a class from the races listed below, as the evolution caused the host to lose his humanity]
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Jorioz
    Jorioz1yr
    Commented
    Mimi flies in front of Vincent's eyes and says [Master, remember that you are no longer in your former world. This is a different world, and here, as long as a female is above 13, she has become a woman. Because this world has a longer time interval per day, compared to your former world. So, if I'm to estimate Hilda's age in your former world, she should be 26 years old. However, in this world, the human body doesn't age like it does in your former world. That's why she looks like a thirteen-year-old girl from your previous world. Humans can live for thousands of years in this world with the help of rejuvenation and the use of elixirs made by a dark mage.] Mimi replies, nonchalantly.
    altalt
    Reincarnated With A Badluck System
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail