yeah I noticed that. it's the way it is written it looks mixed up

lol. 🤣 well all and fun but from what I've learned !? works for that. Or a few extra words to make it exciting. Believe you me, I would love to use all those but the true is I guess the access is like distracting from the story or something like that. for this story, it's up to the author . I just wanted to help because I've been there and now I see the same mistakes I've made as a new writer as this one has. got to help each other out 🙃

they are easy to miss. 😉 easy to miss when you are having fun writing

as in ?! but then it still a question but it could be changed to !? to make the sentence different

I was referring to it needs to be pural. it is written as just bag, 4 bag instead of 4 bags

I hope all is well with you author. I look forward to what happens with this story. I believe it has potential. ❤✌

shouldn't it be are instead of were? both words change a sentence

instead of persons , people might sound better

I think it needs an !

🤭🤣🤭🤢🤮🤣

if the sentence was changed then yes. But the the sentence said "one of" which suggests multiple. 😁

🤦‍♀️🤭🤣

lol. not good with the romance department but don't make the character out to be such a robot. nothing wrong with teasing the reader but this is rough. add something nice. it doesn't have to be R or X. there are ways to give a romance scene that is pg or pg 13.

🤭

awry or wary?

I realized why the beginning bothered me. The comments are a little right. beginning has character development and instead of being vague add to it. study what primitive humans used to make clothing. Give your story a meal meat to it and make it strong. the did come into that cave with nothing but there are ways around it instead of ignoring it. good story 👏

bags?

temper

still reading. The story has improved greatly and I believe it needs polishing but it is a good story.

See this! I just gifted the story: Potion