Sleepy_Reaper
Hi I'm Sleepy Reaper. Im a Fudanshi and love a large mix of different genres. Unless I'm sick or just really tired I'll be found reading novels or manga. Nice to meet you
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Weird comment I know but this paragraph is perfectly curved. It satisfies my OCD 100000%. It's amazing. Just saying. đ
Agreed, it makes things easier to understand.
don't worry about haters.
I agree with the other comment on here. I think the English is really good and a lot better than I have seen on Webnovel before. I suggest Grammarly just to fix up common mistakes and also give you an idea of what you could do better. overall I think it's 5/5 so far.
I agree with this, so put it under ally as a type of pet. turning it into a love rival will only have 2 conclusions, one is Li kills it out of jealousy or Erha can't choose between the 2 and there is a threesome. Turning it into a weapon I feel would make Erha sad constantly. one route is to make it somewhat emotionless at the beginning, forming a strong (albeit cold at first) connection with Li, and slowly expressing emotion (through interaction with Erha), and acting somewhat ignorant and childlike. adding in this character development I think is important.
the term would be Heterochromatic eyes. Mono means 'single' or 'one' and Chrom usually refers to the color. Since it's 2 different colors it is 'Hetero' meaning 'many' or 'different'. so heterochromia is having different colors.
Rest up and hope you have a good day. Can't wait to see some revenge on the kidnappers. I wonder which way your going to write Erha's escape. Is Lin coming to the rescue or is Erha going to use the shop to summon someone or something to take them down? I kinda want to see Erha be able to back up his claim in previous chapters that he isn't weak and the Mer are strong. I just don't know if I would go full "rescue the kidnapped princess" or "Knight in shining armor" route. I understand you want to develop feelings between the 2 but I think having Erha take care of the situation himself would make it so Li can respect Erha's individuality and ability but still be overprotective as opposed to Li coming to the rescue and never letting Erha having his own space and constantly worrying. this is my personal opinion because I want their relationship to be healthy and cooperative. This would also make it so they can trust each other's powers to go hunting zombies together which seems fun and kinda romantic. đ
Erha will fall in love first. He will never want to be away from Li due to the safety, protection, and warmth. He will not be the one to make the first move due to his shyness but that same shyness is going to be what attracts Li, who will make the first move. can't wait to see it.