I am a person who is always in search of new books and stories to be inspired by. When I grow up, I'd like to be a kangaroo. I'm an author!
River. Descriptions are usually from his pov.
Woebegone the man, for the character he fancies is fey. A fey fella saw the man, he knelt and spoke with grace. ''The gender is irrelevant; who are you to judge for whom my love blooms, when even Fate has declared that my soul will be connected to a nobleman's? Leave your ceaseless thoughts and be begone, as my eyes spill the colourless gems at your dislike. If you are to stay, beware of what you say, for the hounds will come haunt you for the misses of the past so forlorn.'' The man looked at the character, not daring to say a word or a cuss. The character was in the right. Who was he to judge love or fate itself? Should he stay? Or will he stay to see a world where love is platonic, unsullied by the vile desires of humanity?
Previous soul had baaaalls
Thank you too for not getting angry. I'll get back to the book in some time to see how it goes. I will add it to my library
Don't apologize, it seems that it has been my misunderstanding. The way you wrote it made it seem like rape, and that ruined it for me. I understand the premise of the novel, you said it yourself, after all. But that scene was not what I expected nor what I wanted, so I was, so to say, shocked and disgruntled. Keep it up.
Nah, no need for that, I understood everything, it's just that I needed some time to put 2 and 2 together.
Here is a 5. But I won't comment on this. Only one thing. You have the freedom to write what you want. I hate rape and tropes surrounding it.
The story is about a ghost-girl being attached to a boy that has a mysterious condition. Apparently, he also has the power to help ghosts cross over, I guess? Anyway, I liked what was written so far, but I have to mention a few things. Your grammar, punctuation, spelling are off in some places. The story is readable and ok, but still, proofreading it wouldn't damage it. I like the characters, and you made the mystery of the girl's origins stand out, making it actually the most important part, especially after we know that she's been (probably) tortured for some smaller crime she committed before dying. Polish up the chapters a bit, and I think you'll be fine!
The premise of the story is good. A family running away from enemies gets to live a new life after a long time. At the same time, one of their children is a reincarnated boy who prides himself in being selfish, which will become his strength in the new world. He even gets a system that helps him grow. The writing quality is, honestly, readable, but it contains many mistakes, from punctuation to grammar and spelling. Especially the first chapter. If you fix the first chapter a bit, I think you'd be better off. Characters are all interesting, but still not well-developed, but I know that takes time to learn and do. World background is the usual medieval fantasy magic, but still well-written nonetheless, so I have no complaints. I'd like the author to expand on it, and to also, when describing, pays attention to how they write, as they have the tendency to write everything that is a part of the plot instead of doing it mildly. Anyway, I like the story, and hope that the author will improve even further. Do your best!
Okay, so the updates will soon become daily, or every other day, it depends on my university duties. For now it's on hold because I have exams. But expect a new chap in 5-6 days tops.
I like the story and I can say that it can attract people. The world background isn't still shown completely, which I don't mind. After all, this is story that will have time to progress. I look forward to it. I just want to say to the author that they have some grammatical mistakes, mostly punctuation. Other than that, keep it up! Thumbs up for ya!
Ao is blue is Japanese. Aoi means blue-coloured.
So she already made problems before.
Thanks for the praise. I do understand the overfeeding of the usual novels, though I admit there are gems that are worth reading. And no, my first language is very different from English. It's just that I've studied English for 16 years and still do.
The story is light-hearted after the beginning. To be honest, I would make it eerier, the scene where he observed her, but that's my style. You have a good grip of your descriptions, your vocabulary is good and also put to good use. There is not much to say about the world building yet, so I can't give it full marks. I liked the characters, each in their own way, yes, even the killer/kidnapper. Each characters has their own charm. ** After I read the chapters about Mrs. Parker and her huge, juicy, perky butt, I have not stopped thinking about it. Please do write more on that topic.🧐 Keep it up, Author!
Ok, let's get started. Excuse me if I make any mistake writing this. I liked the story and the storyline. If you're familiar with the Bible, you will see resemblances and references clearly, and I like that. Making a new story out of an old one, and you CAN'T call it a rehash. I will tell you what I think. You have good grasp of grammar (but I've seen a couple of missed wrongs, mostly punctuation). Your vocabulary is expansive and adaptable. You are a type that focuses more on describing rather than the dialogue, and that really suited my tastes, because I'm the same. I left you a big comment on the first chapter about Adam/Eva issue, so I will skip that. As they go on, it seems that the time is changing, the timelines are getting jumbled, and the proof is Azazel's advice to go find a city-state. So, we actually don't know what is happening and where, except that Edo and Eva are trying to survive on Vinetum, and that the Demon King is basically threatening them. Characters are likeable, each one is different, meaning that you have the ability to describe them properly. Since the world background in your story is more than complex, with new concepts being introduced as these are the beginning chapters, I gave it a 5 for potential. I liked it. Triac's underlings getting their own planets/supernovas to control and make, basically playing with clay is funny and a concept that is completely viable by the Bible. If you want to write a traditional novel, I suggest you continue this way and read even more books than you have read until now, not webnovels, but books. If you're going to do it the Webnovel style, I'd have a lot to say, but I won't since your style is more than pleasing. That's why, keep it up! This will be going to my library, for sure.
Original sinless birth? Mixing it up quite a bit, I see.
Too late for regret.
I seriously regret I don't have a drawing pad to draw the creature.