FallenAngeI
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FallenAngeI2dCommentedFalse alarm xD
[Love Copy: Allows the user to copy only one ability from a Harem member; this ability will not have the same proficiency or strength as the original ability, but it can be enhanced with your own effort. Available targets: Beatrice.]"- FallenAngeI4dCommented
not again... His*
This paragraph has been deleted. - FallenAngeI5dCommentedCh 37 First murder
- FallenAngeI5dCommented
She? Who calls her ?
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she... please fix those mistakes
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he
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he* . Please don't confuse the genders. That's the most basic thing
His always unchanged expression made Nova think he had great confidence in his abilities, so she targeted him as a target to copy. - FallenAngeI5dCommented
he*
Nova had been listening attentively to the words of the white-masked man, but she hardly ever saw him when he spoke, but rather watched the expressions of the other participants. - FallenAngeI5dCommented
himself
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Isn't that counted as physical contact to copy his skills?
Thinking about this, Nova didn't notice that someone was already behind him, tapping his shoulder a couple of times with his finger. - FallenAngeI5dCommented
he* his*
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Basic was for skills tho? These mistakes are ruining the novel. Hopefully they don't persist.
[Common Skill, Fireball Level 1: By concentrating his Mana, the user can create a highly heated fireball, which can injure and status problems such as burns, 1 Mana per normal Fireball]. - FallenAngeI5dCommented
you mean common? Basic was for skills.
[Iron Sword: A basic rank item given upon entering the territory of the Flaming Bull, it is a 1.4-meter tall sword with a single edge, it is a bit more special to other swords, as this was given upon entering the territory of a beast, its origin is unknown]. - FallenAngeI5dCommented
plans
"Ha ha ha ha, with that all my planes are going to be easier," Nova's smile widened, as he laughed softly. "Now being recruited by Eclipse Organization wouldn't be crazy." - FallenAngeI5dCommented
What? Can't you just show a system window for the earrings? This talking about the passives and effects is confusing.
[Yes, those are the two passives of the item, now I added one more which is the one I named above, plus five points of now ten points of stats in intelligence and thirty in mana stats]. - FallenAngeI5dCommented
Do you mean comprehension?
"As I recall, the Moon Earrings give two passives," he continued. "The first is to give more compression and a higher learning ability to anyone who wears the earrings, the other is passive is that at night, all of the item's passives increase and also the wearer's physical stats, am I correct, right?" - FallenAngeI5dCommented
What about his inventory?
'Bingo,' Nova internally shouted, to get the stone out of his head, he didn't even see it, the disgust he had now was extreme, so he could only put it in his almost completely burned pants pocket. - FallenAngeI5dCommented
Masochist? That word feels really out of place here. This whole paragrapgh is strange.
This paragraph has been deleted. - FallenAngeI5dReplied to FallenAngeI
And it's not even needed, since you wrote that he is gasping below. So no need to repeat.
"He gasped, he gasped, he's dead at last, that bastard," Nova grinned between gasps and rapid breaths. - FallenAngeI5dCommentedCh 18 The art of fluidity.