LittleBoyDeath

This is all over the place, with wrong names for people speaking and some stuff entirely coming out of nowhere.

It ruins the whole thing

Tone down the AI in this chapter. It’s especially noticeable.

This needs to hurry up more. And stop playing puzzles with the chapters, it’s really annoying.

..useless chatter that ultimately means nothing until way later. This is a shit chapter.

Can you maybe remember to use whole chapters? This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this in your fics. You either mess up the chapter order, or don’t post full chapters.

I feel like this is missing half its chapter, considering there’s nothing about phoenix apparition in the chapter.

Augerey. Not Diricrawl. Wrong magical creature.

A Pukwudgie is COMPLETELY different from a Wampus Cat.

Like, seriously! It’s fucking common sense that if you can get out of a lie by doing something that will make it reality, you fucking do it! This makes me so fucking mad!