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neerza_50621dReplied to neerza_5062Ch 9 Chapter 09- neerza_50621dCommented
Overall of the story to this chapter was great. It getting better and better. It a shame if u drop this one Author . if u drop this u must be courting death. if u update this slowly u must not know the might of heaven and earth. Which my dao comprehension i like to give this book 8.4/10 . Quite enjoying this one u see. That all for now ,this sage gotta go now. Thank for the chapter.
Ch 9 Chapter 09 - neerza_50621dCommented
I give up on expecting thing now. Pretty sure this spiderling not gonna follow the spider rule . maybe it for the better because making a fanfic while following spider man original fate actually kind of hard to make . maybe it gonna reveal that the mc is actually a fate changer or there actually nothing actually driving their destiny .
It has been a month since Peter and Gwen got their spider powers. Gwen has been doing vigilantism since she started but Ace felt instead of helping people. Gwen is doing this for the popularity and attention she has been getting. She also has been late multiple times in class which is concerning. Peter was surprised at first knowing Gwen was doing vigilantism as Spider-Woman, but he more or less supported her since she was helping people. Gwen wanted to invite Peter as well but he did not feel the need to since Gwen is already doing it. Peter is more focused on his life. Ever since he has gotten spider power. School life has been fun for him. He's been playing basketball and when Aunt May and Uncle Ben came to watch his games. He felt happy seeing how proud they are of him. Even some girls were interested in Peter now. But Ace, MJ, and Ned felt Peter was changing too much and were worried. He stopped paying attention in class and Ace noticed his grades were slipping. Gwen and Peter also hang out with Ace, MJ, and Ned less. Gwen doing vigilantism and Peter enjoying his new attention. As much as Ace likes to see their lives improve he feels the paths their taking seem to be wrong. They are just doing whatever they want and not taking their powers seriously. - neerza_50621dCommented
the mc did it again being all smart and all . it just so off. Arrggg! keep ur card hidden don't just reveal thing easily. mc keep interfering with spider man plot. well , now i have a hunch that no one actually going to die .there are high chance mc going to save Aunt May or Gwen father. With the great power come a great responsibility going to be bs now. I really hope it not will come to that. if it really did, i hope the author will cover it with good reason and reasonable plot and twist.
"Uh… it was nothing really." Peter was shy about how much praise he's been getting. - neerza_50621dCommented
how about ' what do you mean? '
"Face it Flash. I'm winning this." Peter felt the satisfaction of finally beating Flash with only a few seconds left. He is going to end this with a bang. He passed Flash and jumped from the 3-point line. Everyone watched Peter in disbelief and dunked the ball with all his strength. Peter ripped the rim off and shattered the glass. - neerza_50621dCommented
it supposed to be bewilderment like '..what ?'
Peter dribbled the ball and made a few faints which made the enemy almost fall for it. - neerza_50621dCommentedShe got up and took off her sweaty clothes. But she noticed something different about her body. Her belly became thinner and so did her waist. She gained a lot of muscle but it made her body look more refined. Her skin felt smooth to the touch and clear of any impurities. She also noticed her breasts became more well-endowed and became more rounded to the perfect shape. Her ass became more firm and rounded. And her body became more toned and she felt stronger.
- neerza_50621dCommented
In Miles Morales movie only one spiderman can exist .if another one appear one of them will likely die.
Ace was surprised. 'Peter got bitten too? Does that mean Spider-Man and Spider-Woman will appear in this universe?' Ace thought. He knew one of them was going to get bitten. He never thought both would be getting spider powers. - neerza_50621dCommented
it spidergweny for sure
Gwen played more songs and they were mostly still rock. - neerza_50621dCommented
hah this kind of mc really set me off. he gonna be like all knowing and always right mc. nothing reflect on reality.
"Sure, give me a minute to pack up." - neerza_50621dCommented
i thought she supposed to be against violence and give Ace a little pep talk even if she became spider Gwen.
"I don't mind but you're going to have to put in the work." Ace looked at Ned's body. He is going to have to put in a whole lot of 'work' to get into shape. - neerza_50621dReplied to Najicablitz626
bruh was so serious about becoming a Kamen rider that he look likes one😂🤣
The young man's name was Ace Ukiyo. He is 15 years old and has a well-built body for martial artists. He has black hair and has a striking resemblance to the actor Hideyoshi Kan. - neerza_50623dCommentedHehehe, boys...
- neerza_50623dCommented
syst
[ Ahem* Ahem* it seems you don't know your position, listen here you nigga, I will give you 2 days worth of time... - neerza_506216dCommented
toji
"Yup, dude, sticks a needle in your eyes and injects the ink. They were really painful, but they are sick. Thanks for the help offer; you are a doll." - neerza_506216dCommented
why would she said 'central city' ? it not natural way of conversation . I meant pretty sure make she say it just for the reader to know where the mc currently are. well just have the mc figure it out later. no need to make it so obvious.
"Central City? You were on the ground in front of my house. I was about to call an ambulance. The puppy seemed to be trying to wake you, so I assumed he was yours." - neerza_50621mthCommentedAnd not only that, with his enhanced sight, he could see a complex pattern in the middle of his iris, he felt dizzy just glancing at the pattern.
- neerza_50621mthCommented
me imagining Kuga eyes
Earlier, he had deep purple colored eyes but now the color had changed completely, instead of just being a shade of amethyst, there were some other colors as well, red, black, a bit white. - neerza_50622mthCommented
the story was too bland like it has no taste it's not sweet it's not sour just bland need to make more emotional impact need to approach the situation more creatively not just 'he go there, he shot , all dead' and fullstop. be more descriptive. May little suggestions help u on ur writing journey.( or not)
Ch 9 Magneto