

Writing
of reading
869
Read books
I vote for Rebekah, but Caroline or Lydia are fine as well. Well any girl from those three universe is fine but those are my favourite.
Hey I am really liking your story so far, it is really creative and fun to read. I do have a small advice; you should really find a different way to give caracter description, this really breaks the flow of the story and is kinda jarring when you run into it while reading. Honestly most of this description weren't necessarily, you could have segued into Hiyori's description when mentioning her fruit and left other guardians for when an opportunity stuck. For Hiyori's you could have gone something like this at the part where you tell us about her fruit: "Hiyori, woman with purple hair, red eyes and skin wearing a Noh mask was given an acromentula fruit to aid her as she is one of my six guardians, Namanari Hannya, a form of Kijo (demon woman)." something like this, this way it isn't so jarring to read. Anyway sorry for a long comment, and thanks for the story it is really fun to read.
ye genin was a stretch. I was kinda annoyed, but still s rank ninja shouldn't have an issue sneaking by few samurai.
Ye this is so forced.
Ye this thing with samurai is just too forced. Ye sure samurai being max genin lvl would be fine and few extremely talented ones going higher but samurai being able to detect s rank ninjas doesn't fit at all. Hell didn't Itachi and shark guy sneak in konoha while waring akatsuki cloaks? so random samurai being able to sense an s rank ninja even if it is ren seams like too much.
He has extremis from Iron man 3 and heart shaped plant from Black Panther(although that one is inactive for now).
It is quite interesting. Mc isn't immediately op and powers he gets don't break the world they would also work great if he becomes vampire/lycan Hybrid. I imagine him being able to transform into a Panter man with flaming eyes or something. Anyway keep up the good work and I do hope you have him become vamp since well he is in that kind of world, just not the twilight kind, and his powers would probably remove all the downsides from underworld kind, being twilight vampire sounds like a nightmare. Sorry about that I am bit passionate about how much being a twilight vamp actually suck. Anyway your story your choice, I look forward to see where it goes.
Great read. One of the best Vampire stories on the website. Also Rebekah is there so this automatically makes it 11/10.
Cool as I said your story your choice, I do have to add one thing. Thair weakness they are literally punishment from nature, they wanted power but thay didn't want to sacrifice anything at least in the show thay didn't think of sacrifice or consequences instead they went against natural order and got punished. Although you can easily work the food thing into being part of the punishment.
Now I am just yapping but you gave me opportunity to say this so I will you can ignore it. Anyway TVD vampires always felt to me as amplification of humanities more bestial side, they are strong, fast, durable. But they are also more Bloodthirsty (literally) and overall more emotional. They are 1000% more likely to be excessive in everything especially things that make them happy food, drink, s**, drugs, slaughter... you get the point. Best exempl of this view of mine is vampires when they turn off thair humanity completely, they become extremely hedonistic, it's all partying and blood. Anyway I sorry this but I really wanted to say this.