AngryBolt

The author writes competently and the idea is good, but he couldn’t cope with the execution; there is very little logic and frankly childish actions of the main character everywhere, and I generally keep silent about the system and its creator; in short, it’s horror and not fan fiction; the author needs to work on the story itself and then everything will be fine; good luck him in this 🤔

Author, no offense, you are a good writer, but specifically in terms of grammar, but your plot is terribly illogical for the actions of even a teenager, I was so stupid and illogical in the 3rd grade, namely until the age of 8, when I accumulated enough knowledge to make adequate decisions, and your y sounds like a real 8-year-old and not a reborn teenager :(

I have a feeling that you are trying to make a very stupid gg with a very stupid plot :(

Very stupid and naive :( If we assume that knowledge about chakra, in principle, through it can get to vegapunk and the world government.

The author writes very contradictory and stupid. There are too many inconsistencies in this fanfiction, both in the plot and in the construction of the characters. There are a lot of moments where they write to us about one thing and in the next chapter the whole plot turns 180 degrees, and it’s so stupid that this story is written by several different authors with different preferences and who don’t know what happened in the last chapter, in short, my personal opinion, this fanfic is needed read only to those who do not care about the plot in general and those who love NTR

I didn't understand how he got hurt by wind and lightning if he can use the power of lightning fruit??????

the author writes in a hurry, the text sometimes seems to have nothing in common with each other, as if a bunch of mini stories in one. I don't understand why he changed gender? could you just write about the girl?? In general, you can read, but the story is purely for a non-whimsical reader. P.s. It's just my opinion, it's up to you to read it or not.

Очень скучный фанфик. Автор постоянно пишет так будто гг силен но не проходит и минуты чтения как он делает из него наивную тряпку которая постоянно не достаточно силён чтоб справиться с противником. Я понимаю что автор пытаеться растенуть сюжет показав что гг со временем становиться сильнее и для этого он придумывает причину, стимул гг НО автор делает это так не умело что весь рассказ вообще не состыковываеться. Короче очень скучный и нелепый фанфик🤔

The author, I realized that money is needed and all that But why did he kill an innocent guard with his strength and chakra is enough and just hit the helmet pl harder to knock it out ?????

Well, in general, it was not bad before Robin Hood in the bushes, who knows how to hide no worse than a shinobi. And the poison on the arrows is serious? I don’t want to offend, but poison in ancient times was very expensive, not to mention the fact that they generally came to kill a bear? in short, the essence of what the story is not bad, but there are a couple of poorly thought out moments that hurt the eyes, I hope the author will pay attention to them in the future :)