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SrLao

SrLao

Lv4

Es en la lectura de las historias, buenas o malas, donde encuentro el placer de seguir viviendo. Equipo NoHarem

2019-06-27 JoinedGlobal
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  • SrLao
    SrLao1mth
    Posted

    Writing Quality (4★), Updating Stability (3★), Story Development (2★), Character Design (2★), world background (4★). I got to read up to chapter 20, it's entertaining but the MC, is an emo, the characters seem like flat cliches. There are moments when the narrative lets you see what a jerk the MC is but then it resorts to the secondary characters and how it tries to highlight in a forced way, "the greatness of the MC". I can't say the novel is bad but it's not very good either. It fulfills the function of entertaining. (Traductor)

    altalt
    Dead Man Walking: Living By Day, Dead By Night
    Urban · Zentmeister
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao1mth
    Commented

    This chapter is disgusting. It's been a while since the author is focusing on the physical figures of the female characters and leaves the plot in the background. At least there is no harem. (traductor)

    Ch 149 -146- Feelings
    altalt
    Arcane: Champion Witness System
    Video Games · TypicalFicEnjoyer6
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao1mth
    Commented

    If some secret and scientific group wanted to study or use MC, it would be interesting and logical if they were offered a paid contract, with weekly hours. Obviously due to the plot he can have a confrontation with a secret group for trying to retain or kidnap him only for Mc to tell him at the end "they could have paid me to study me" or "if you know what I am, and unlike the hulk, I have brain, we were able to reach a mutual agreement" (traductor)

    Ch 31 31...
    altalt
    In Marvel with the Perfect Body...
    Anime & Comics · Aaron_Chong_6689
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao2mth
    Commented

    It would be interesting that the mc left children on the way, and that their descendants (with some unique trait) form a millenary family and among them, some are immortal or have prolonged lives of 400 or 1000 years. Thus making a new supernatural species of white hair. All this to create new plots and expand the background of the world. Hopefully it won't be the typical Twilight fanfic cliche, where they arrive at Forck Village, fall in love with one of the Cullens and leave all the development of thousands of years behind. Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

    Ch 49 and so it begins
    altalt
    The Immortal (twilight fanfiction)
    Movies · Beans_on_a_tree
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao2mth
    Commented

    It would be interesting that the mc left children on the way, and that their descendants (with some unique trait) form a millenary family and among them, some are immortal or have prolonged lives of 400 or 1000 years. Thus making a new supernatural species of white hair. All this to create new plots and expand the background of the world. Hopefully it won't be the typical Twilight fanfic cliche, where they arrive at Forck Village, fall in love with one of the Cullens and leave all the development of thousands of years behind. Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

    Ch 48 my bad
    altalt
    The Immortal (twilight fanfiction)
    Movies · Beans_on_a_tree
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao3mth
    Commented

    Me gusto tanto este capítulo

    Ch 37 Alexandria and a heart attack.
    altalt
    The Immortal (twilight fanfiction)
    Movies · Beans_on_a_tree
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao3mth
    Replied to Midnight_Wonder

    Thanks for responding, I'm abandoning this fanfic

    Ch 33 Treat (Edited)
    altalt
    Marvel: The Gene Collector
    Movies · Midnight_Wonder
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao3mth
    Commented

    Harem, Yes/No? Please "no"

    Ch 33 Treat (Edited)
    altalt
    Marvel: The Gene Collector
    Movies · Midnight_Wonder
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao4mth
    Commented

    Gracias por el capitulo

    Ch 11 Three months
    altalt
    BECOMING AN ANCESTOR
    History · cleidsonco
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao4mth
    Commented

    I remember that Aron had a sister that he secretly murdered for fear that the three leading heads of the Vulturis would split up, causing the severe depression of one of the three and causing his wives to be "locked up and drugged so they wouldn't complain". I don't know if it was before or after their war with the Romanian clan. The MC could save the sister, prevent Aron's "evil" course, Marco (one of the 3 main heads and husband of Aron's sister) would owe the MC a big favor, and the other members of the Voturi clan, seeing Aron's treachery, could kill him, lock him up or expel him from the clan. In the end the wives of the three heads would take control of the clan. (traductor)

    Ch 25 Moving, and a chair for the Gods
    altalt
    The Immortal (twilight fanfiction)
    Movies · Beans_on_a_tree
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao4mth
    Commented

    Gracias por el capitulo

    Ch 9 Map
    altalt
    BECOMING AN ANCESTOR
    History · cleidsonco
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao4mth
    Commented
    "me llamas tonta, ingenua y que?! Quieres jugar conmigo? Está bien! Puedes hacerlo, úsame si quieres y llámame estúpida por dejarte hacerlo, lo aceptare! Pero no pienses. ni por un segundo que dejare que me apartes! no pienso alejarme, quieres que me vaya pero yo no quiero!" Con cada palabra más intensa se volvía la expresión de Carol y Daniel comenzó a darse cuenta de que algo estaba terriblemente mal, muy mal, demasiado mal.
    altalt
    en reescritura
    Anime & Comics · EmmaCruzader
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao5mth
    Commented

    ok. esto no es para mi. lo abandono

    Ch 5 4. Consequences
    altalt
    PHANTOM OF THE AIR NATION (Avatar AU)
    Anime & Comics · RaedaX_1
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao5mth
    Posted

    Quality of writing (3): sometimes switches from first person to third person in sudden ways, but it is understandable. Stability of updates (1): the last update was 5 months ago. Development of the story (1): it is a bad cut and paste of different series or movies. Example: he gave his family, the same spider that bit peter parker, all in the same day. the characters know he is in marvel, it is simply too strong the power of the plot for my taste. Character design (1): simple, without relevance, they are more of filler than contributions to the plot. World background (1): I only see a story where the fantasies of a child are fulfilled. Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

    altalt
    The Marvelous Superman
    Others · Passerby_Venne
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao5mth
    Commented
    Kevin just ignored him and continued "Dad I have something important to give you. Close your eyes for a sec." and as Fanlien #1 closed his eyes he felt his son come close and slightly touch his neck, and then he felt a sting.
    altalt
    The Marvelous Superman
    Others · Passerby_Venne
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao5mth
    Posted

    Writing Quality (3) Updating Stability (3) Story Development (2) Character Design (2) world background (1) You can read and understand the writing. In the time since a few chapters have been released, I assume that I have just started and it does not seem that the author will abandon any time soon. I found gaps when he says how when he says he knows what powers he has, how he knows about the "genetically perfect" improvements in his body, how did a common person (from the modern world) come to have a strong conviction of desire for power and dominance? As for the substance, I didn't feel it. It was as if I were walking a path and there was someone (let's say "plot") who pulls the strings and decides when and how the MC has to think/do. Not in a way that doesn't feel natural to me. Good luck to the author and I hope that this negative criticism is useful and not a simple annoyance (translator)

    altalt
    Mera-Mera in Game of thones
    TV · New_Author
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao5mth
    Commented

    I like the way the story is going (traductor)

    Sorry for not posting yesterday. Was kinda down and off the internet. Also, it feels like the comments and interactions with this story are decreasing recently. Are you guys not enjoying the story? Let me know what you think.
    altalt
    MARVEL: Scientific Path
    Anime & Comics · PyteWriter
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao6mth
    Replied to Gg_Man

    I'm reading it through "69shuba.com", I think there is a page where it has many more chapters but they are paid. At least using Google Translate it is easy to understand. (Traductor)

    Ch 140 Chapter 140: Hades, Don't Scare the Kids!
    altalt
    Warhammer 40K: I Don’t Want to Be a Tin Can!
    Book&Literature · Read_and_Chill
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao6mth
    Commented

    Thanks for the chapter.

    Ch 61 Otherworld
    altalt
    MARVEL: Scientific Path
    Anime & Comics · PyteWriter
    detail
  • SrLao
    SrLao6mth
    Commented

    When I read the chapter I imagine it as cartoon animations and it ends up being short and insipid. It doesn't seem like a bad fanfic to me, it just gives me the impression that the contents of the chapter are few. That is to say, in this chapter he goes to Gwen's place, they see the issue of clothing, a little flirting and Peter shows off the ability to copy the clothes with his body and that's it. It seems stuffed, the only relevant thing being the clothing. I repeat, the fanfic is not bad, but I am no longer feeling as much enthusiasm as at the beginning (traductor)

    Ch 35 Upgrades, People. Upgrades.
    altalt
    Marvel : A Reptilian Adventure
    Anime & Comics · Marine0IQ
    detail