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Jo_Fab

Jo_Fab

Lv1
2019-06-22 JoinedPhilippines
-d

Writing

1.1h

of reading

18

Read books

Badges

4

Moments

4
  • Jo_Fab
    Jo_Fab1yr
    Replied to _Geum_

    Hi dear how are you. I never got your discord I'd.

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    Ayong ka
    Horror&Thriller · Jo_Fab
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  • Jo_Fab
    Jo_Fab1yr
    Commented

    Hi dear, I just finished all four chaps. First, the plot is interesting. It actually reminds me of an old manga I read from before. You might want to research on that and get a few ideas as you proceed. It's called The worlds, don't know if it's still available since it was serialized back in 2000. Which means your work have potential. Af few issues with conjuction, you might want to fix that since it destroys the beauty of your sentences. Character introduction was a bit off but it pulled through in the succeeding chaps. I hope you continue writing dear. -If you truly want something, the universe will conspire to help you achieve your goals.- Paulo Coelho -(The Alchemist)

    Ch 4 Misty Moon
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    The Dream Saga
    Fantasy · wookie0_
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  • Jo_Fab
    Jo_Fab1yr
    Commented

    Hi, so I just finished reading both chapters. The plot is good, and I truly has potential. The transitions between sentences are sometimes off, but not too much to lose a reader's interest. There seems to be alot of action and fighting scenario in your novel and I hope you can make it work. A few spelling mistakes but that is forgiven. Try working on a comp, use Microsoft word first to chek for spelling mistakes before uploading your work here. It's tedious but it will help. I can't give further critic on the novel itself because two chaps is too short to judge someone's work. I hope you update soon. Best of luck us. -the only limit to one's ability is the limit we impose on our selves..

    Ch 2 That Hateful Night -1
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    The Bloody Angel
    Teen · listen_moon
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  • Jo_Fab
    Jo_Fab1yr
    Commented

    The chapter is too short and one chapter is not enough to judge a novel. But your writing is okay, a few technical errors. Which was previously mentioned. The plot, I agree it seems promising. I hope you will continue this. I will be waiting for the next chapter. Maybe I will give a full critic when it reaches 10 chapters. Its not fair to judge early on.

    Ch 1 Heaven's Breath
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    Heaven's Breath
    Fantasy Romance · _Geum_
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