intothedarkabyss

The mystery enveloping Kaesu's story in pursuit of answers about her grandfather's death is enough to rouse curiosity. Although there are numerous aspects that need improvement, I can see potential for this to evolve into a beguiling novel. Furthermore, the author has shown remarkable improvement with their writing and storytelling - kudos to that! Regardless of the score I've given, I can envision this becoming a piece in its own right. Well done, author!

Sure, just let me know. And you're amazing! Keep up!!

My reading experience may be different, super different - but it's important to note that I don't speak for someone else's experience. In addition to the feedback I provided in my Google Document and in-line comments, I'd like to share some additional thoughts here. I admire the author's willingness to learn and their openness to criticism. Yep, they are keen and responsive. The story itself holds a lot of potential. In my own perspective, I believe it could be further enhanced with a more developed and concise story structure. Unpopular opinion, a shorter prelude would be more effective. However, it's super important to acknowledge that creative direction is ultimately the author's right. Grammar-wise, I can see that the author is making a genuine effort, and I'm super happy to observe improvements with each chapter. What's needed now is to focus on the narrative with emotional depth, ensure a proper sentence structure, and seamlessly connect thoughts. Sadly, I had to drop this story - okay, this isn't bad. But hear me out first. I just found it increasingly difficult to maintain interest due to the prolonged drama. However, this is purely a reflection of my personal reading experience. Nevertheless, it was still a nice reading journey.

I understand that - but I think it can be condensed more. I think we are really moving away from the theme itself, and we can always have those hatred elements incorporated without dragging that much. But that's a personal preference. It's just that the author needs to consider the level of interest of each chapter.

Divorce, honey. If they are too much, divorce 🙄

💯💯

The drama is too dragging. I’m not sure if I’m reading something from a telenovela or what. Since this is just the prelude, I understand. But we’re straying away from the main theme. I hope we get the chance to discover more.

I just want them to face the consequences. Really can’t wait for that.

I mean there are other ways for her to move forward. She needs therapy, not another session of trauma.

‘Attraction’ i mean…