I feel this is a skill building exercise for a new author maybe include some specific things you noticed? but I agree with what you have to say I feel it's just destinations without any journey combined with a lack of description in location or people.

yup, as the saying goes show don't tell and so far he's been saying what has happened without describing the journey just various vague destinations and people

this is a lesson in the phrase show don't tell everything I got through reads as "this happened then that, but then something surprising, we made some crazy shit but you really should have been there it was awesome sauce" the whole thing is a mix of third person while also being first person in a humble a good effort for a project to self improve on the authors behalf but frustrating to read.

i second this just don't make it the only thing this is about

he didn't make it he helped other people alter it so it stayed effective

there is another person trying to copy paste this novel here but you can find the original under novelupdates.com under the title started

if you want to "improve" work that's already being translated send what you have to the people doing it originally and ask for a job or start on something that isn't spoken for

says the guy with a patrion ? if this was honest you would have linked or at least mentioned the "inferior version" you can't just change some grammar, change goblin to gnome and call it something other than copy paste... this isn't highschool

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste

this is a copy paste