Lucien_XIII

My biggest piece of advice would be to slow down and think about what you're building and find a way to articulate the important info to the reader because it feels rushed and jumpy with little explanation. I'm still enjoying it, there's just very little info and what is there doesn't seem very cohesive.

I have some critiques for you, but overall it's not a bad story and with some tweaks and changes I believe you'd have a top tier story! Certain things just aren't fleshed out enough or visited enough for us as the reader to have a full understanding of them and I feel we should know a lot more than we do as far into this as we are as of this chapter.

See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon

See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon

See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon