Saadido_

Toph and Jinx for the peerage, Jinx for technology and immortality? Toph for sass

Sorry for being so harsh, this is still great for a free fic, you just seem to have a lot more potential.

Criticism for the story as a whole: What made arcane season 1 great was its characters, you seem to ignore that. No side character in this fic is dynamic or fleshed out, you cant even use the fanfic excuse because almost everyone is an OC at this point they don't act like the show. You either hate vi like the season 2 writers or ur not aware of how humans behave. Either she worships Vander like a god and listens to everything he says or she's brain damaged at this point, both are not Vi. She is not a snitch at this point or at her core. Vander is ur closest character to fleshed out but that is because he is easy to write since arcane did the heavy lifting. Biggest critique: too many unimportant characters and side plots. The main character has been unlikable and lacked agency for way too long. Either give him hard fought agency or make him fun, because at this point it's hard to read.

It's a couple stories of guys who got reincarnated with gamer systems and no morals ended up becoming infinitely powerful. Smut and wishfulfilment. Darklordshiro is the author I think, maybe.

Barely humanish.

Short af

I'd say the lack of goal for the mc makes it feel slow

you repeated a few paragraphs

You pasted this twice

great quality compared to this site. Try posting this on rr or qq. well done hope you continue. For new readers the 2nd person point of view is only jarring for a little while.