Febfew

Author, you are a very good writer. You are good at everything I know about writing: creativity, grammar, narration, dialogue, character creation, story flow, etc. But the problem is that you have many initiatives and so far I haven't seen a conclusion or story that has consistency. I liked the Naruto fanfic, it had a unique script and premise (I even found it challenging), but it was abandoned too. So what is the possibility of this original story lasting more than 100 chapters?

Note 2: it might be better to delete the story and put all the chapters in again. This eliminates negative reviews.

4° The MC has dragons and many powers. Honestly, it's frustrating for me as a reader, it's as if the MC were Superman holding back for purely psychological reasons... Note: I don't know if my criticisms are valid in this reformulation of the story, but as I really liked it, I don't want it to be abandoned and I know that the biggest incentive for a story not to be abandoned is for the author to have his work recognized by the public. And congratulations, your story has a VERY unique approach.

1° Cut the number of words per chapter in half, large chapters are good, but a certain consistency is needed in the interval between chapters. Cutting the number of words in half per chapter solves part of the problem; 2° Change your way of narrating. A lot of information is thrown at readers in a short time, before even showing the MC and the entire scenery around him. At first we know more about the MC's ancestors than the MC himself; 3° The interval between certain events is slow or relatively abrupt. It's very strange the intervals between the usurper's war, the burning of the city, the MC's intervention and his conquests (the conquests part was really cool);

Author, please, at least think about this advice of mine: change the name of this fanfic, on Patreon and other places, leave the name the same. This serves to attract more readers. In my opinion, this story is good, but it could be much better if the way of narration wasn't so wrong. I'm not saying you don't know how to narrate or create a story. I'm saying that the order in which you narrate the events and the interval between what happens between certain events makes the story very bad to read. I will continue to respond to this comment. ↓

Since I can't edit, I'll go here. I intended to read the other stories by this author, but in the face of this nonsense I'm going to delete them too. I realize that the author cannot separate himself from the original script completely (I'm referring to the main characters), as was the case with Cercei and Daenerys in this fanfic. Arianne may not be a genius, but she's not that thing either.

This story is no longer for me. I leave it here. It no longer makes sense to waste time with an MC who is reincarnated (which is why he should have the ability to have his head straight as he knows the risks of the place he is in) but who has clearly gone crazy. It's one thing to make mistakes, everyone does that, an MC doing that makes him cooler, it's another completely different thing to love them. Especially the stupid mistakes. It seems to me that the author just wants to put Cercei or Daenerys as the MC's partner and/or empress.

I understand MC's anger, but the punishment against Arianne and her children is complete insanity with no logic whatsoever. What is he going to do? Put Cercei's son in? The author is making the MC demented.

Finally!!! [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

This is a translate and the author is chinese...