Tutsey
I like big books and I can't lie.
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Dear Beloved Author, Many moons have come and gone, and yet your faithful reader still awaits for your return! Oh formidable author, do hear this lowly one's woe and quench this literary thirst. For I do not know how much longer my soul can endure such a drought! Most wise and venerable author, I pray this message finds you well, and I thank you for your time, in listening to your subject's pleas. May the blessings of the literary gods be with you. Sincerely, Your most devoted reader.