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Nebula18457

Nebula18457

Lv3

I just thought it'd be fun to write, so that's why I'm here. To those who support me, thank you.

2019-02-22 JoinedNew Zealand
-d

Writing

-h

of reading

65

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4

Moments

77
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Posted

    Overall the stories there. But the author needs to work on their grammar. But well reading, the good parts of the novel outweigh the bad. Like the author's descriptions and the way that they describe the characters.

    altalt
    -deketed---
    Fantasy · El_dorado
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to NotSubaru

    hehehehe. I know. I told you.

    Kere felt a sense of relief wash over him seeing Tina on her bed. "I told you not to leave your room." Keres takes a seat at the end of her bed.
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to Nebula18457

    Just copy and paste the link into a tab.

    Ch 10 Tina
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Commented

    https://www.webnovel.com/book/a-girl-named-sin_20691917905796805

    Ch 10 Tina
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to Dxvil

    That's what I was going for.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to NotSubaru

    What do you mean by that?

    "Ethereal children? What a cringy ass name." Dominic interrupts with a sour expression; It seems we were both thinking the same thing.
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to NotSubaru

    Well, I'd hope my Novel's interesting.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to NotSubaru

    Same, I loved the hunger games.

    "So you came here to make me into some sort of campaign pitch or revolutionary leader like the chick from the hunger games."
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to NotSubaru

    Keres is not the main villain's real name. The name Keres was given to him cause he was blessed by the female dark spirit of old. But I'll get into that in his back story. His real name does start with a K tho.

    In seconds, Keres grabs Clarissa by her jaw, staring her right in the eyes. "Don't test me. My patience has been wearing very thin; As of late," He says menacingly before throwing her to the ground. "Now tell me, What were you up to in that little town Helgrey."
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Posted

    The novel was amazing, the storyline flowed well, the plot made sense, and the character design was good too. But the grammar wasn't up to scratch. There's a lot of work that needs to be done when it comes to this aspect of things. That said, keep going author, you're doing an amazing job so far.

    altalt
    The Ultimate Harem System
    Fantasy · Nebula_lord2402
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to NotSubaru

    Thank you for telling me I'll fix it

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Posted

    Overall, the novel was amazing. One thing I loved from the novel most was the raw emotions shown between the characters. But I think the author could've added some more descriptive language in some places.

    altalt
    Fantasy Air
    LGBT+ · FLYO
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to Nwodo_Tony

    sorry for keeping you waiting :3

    Ch 6 Markus's Hunt
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Posted

    The novel's too slow-paced, the world-building is too messy, and the is non-existent. Not to mention, the first 20 chaps are all just filler. Lastly, the author seems to enjoy abusing the mc a little too much.

    altalt
    The Star Sovereign (1st Pov)
    Eastern · Simp_Chaos
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to scifiistheway

    I shall take this as a neutral way of you saying you enjoyed the prologue.

    Ch 1 Prologue
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to Vedika_Garg

    your welcome (bow)

    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to TheValidSource

    you'll have to read to find out

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Posted

    It was honestly speaking a great read, I really enjoyed it. What I loved most about it was the heartwarming and humourous relationship between the friends. But there were just quite a few grammar mistakes here and there. I feel like the author could be a bit more descriptive in places as well. but overall good job author.

    altalt
    Fallin' (You are my soulmate)
    Fantasy · Vedika_Garg
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to doomedtl

    That's exactly what I was going for. And of course, I know my writing could be more polished, but I am still learning. I'm only 16, and have a long way to go.

    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail
  • Nebula18457
    Nebula184572yr
    Replied to eyaggelia146

    I fixed up some of the things you mentioned so go check it out.

    altalt
    Blood Lust An Undying Thirst
    Teen · Nebula18457
    detail