RedBeard73

Writing is ok, nothing great but not full of misspelling. Biggest problems are with the inconsistencies, especially with the curses. In the first chapter these are explained to us as these horrible curses, yet they are used as essentially character traits. You can’t say they are these horrible curses that should always be affecting him, only for many of them to never actually go into affect. Like the greed and envy ones, they were explained to be pretty bad, yet they haven’t done anything. Author was way over dramatic when writing them, then dumbed them down considerably. Also said that each curse would come with positives along with the two extra benefits if he took the curses yet only a few paragraphs later the author completly forgot about them. The curses were in no way a smart choice to take, the risks far outweighed the reward, but the author decided to act like it was in anyway a good idea. And later on in the first fight he repeatedly acts suprised about his love for fighting and for inflicting and feeling pain, yet the curses literally told him that would happen, he shouldn’t be suprised. And the fact that the stray took multiple spears through the neck and upper chest yet was still able to breath, much less speak, was stupid.

He knows he has the curse, he shouldn’t be repeatedly questioning why he likes fighting or inflicting pain, and why he likes the pain, the curse already explained that.

Olympic pole vault poles are around 17 to 17.5 feet long, completly unnecessary length that, if anything, would actually be worse than a 5 foot spear of ice

Why are we yelling?!

What’s will all the exclamation marks? They are to denote yelling and there is no yelling going on, at least not from the rest of the context we have, they feel super out of place

It said before that each curse would bring a positive affect too, but the author just skipped over that

The whole interaction with altar and Gray felt weird. He somehow instantly knows it’s Ultrar just because of a woman’s voice and she uses ice? And what is he so mad about in the first place?

Quotation marks missing

Missing quotation marks

It’s Ms. Mrs. Is only for women who are married