Just a kid who likes to read and write different kinds of stories.
Shameless review by me. This will be officially my second novel. You can message me in discord for some questions and recommendations in discord (MikruZero#2651)
Sort of lmao. Sorry but I won't update for an unknown period of time
Ohh. I understand. You see in the next chapter he will discover a new power right? Maybe I mix it up and thought that this was his second life so he was used it. Thanks for pointing it out, friend. If you have any issues, feel free to comment. Thanks again!
When someone pierces you in the butthole, what will you do instinctively? Of course, that is to turn around, right? Then what if the one who pierces you also move in the same direction? Then the time it will take to pierce the mouth before howling will be much faster. Well, it's still my fault for not writing that specifically. Anyways, thanks for this comment. Next time I'll be more careful
I love solo leveling! Anyways, thanks for reading, big sis!
Tbh, I love the book. This is usually the writing style I like. But! But, that doesn't mean that other readers will like it. Lemme tell you why! First is the synopsis! You don't have too put that much info dump on the first thing your reader will read. They will immediately get bored out of it or basically ignored it. What I recommend you to do is just make it more simple and mysterious. This way, you can arouse your reader's curiosity and at the same time make it easier to understand Second is the story itself. Just like the first reason, too much info dump. This is the problem when your setting is a fantasy world. Make it shorter and descriptive as possible. Avoid repeating the same adjectives and nouns. Use their synonyms instead. Plus, grammatical errors are found including the tenses. You often mix it up probably. Lastly is the fighting scenes and other things that need in-depth explanations. Basically, you sometimes overestimate the descriptions or you are stating the obvious. Please refrain from biasing your mc. If the first sentence describes how a sword pierces the arm, you don't have to add nonsense like, the arm was bleeding. Why? The reader can picture out the bleeding part you are telling too. Instead, add some excitement to it. For example, 'His arm was pierced by a sword. And the pain inflicted in it caused his body to lose control for a split-second'. This way, you can open up a lot of possibilities in the next fighting scene. Your readers will have a hard time determining the future and the excitement will make them more attached to the book Overall, this book has potential. If you have any questions directly ask me in discord.
The synopsis is still lacking. Also, grammatical errors are also seen in the synopsis. I advise you to fix it since readers who read the synopsis first will immediately know that the author mixes up in the tenses. Also, the chapters are also mess up. But by simply proofreading is you can fix these problems. All famous authors have their own editors after all. If you want a cheap editor then maybe I can help. Anyways, also improve your grammar. Read 15 words each say in a dictionary, it may help lmao. Do you're the best author! After all, your book has a lot of potentials!!
To be honest, this book has potential. A lot of grammatical, punctuations, and tenses mistakes. But don't worry, these mistakes are common for beginners. Also, you need to research more about the thing you are gonna put in the book. This way, you can better describe it and the scenes in the story. Improve your vocab and knowledge. Well, that's all. Do your best!
A good read actually. But the descriptive department seems to be lacking. What I mean is that you really express yourselves and. I do feel the emotions of the characters. But the world background is what you need to describe the best. Anyways, continue working hard. Grammatical errors are also seen however just a bot of proofreading and you're done! Also, try increasing your vocab! Goodluck
I'll take note of that
Can you elaborate? It may help me improve! Thanks for replying if you do!
Yup! You'll see in the next vol
don't worry about that thing. some explicit scenes might happen but it's not too. much and luckily all will go well.
This book is gonna end in 5-10 chapters. The first volume
Don't worry nothing bad is gonna happen...
Kite's too weak yet