It's kinda like a rewrite of the original novel, In a way, this FF is better than the light novel, but it also hurts that much of the content is already explored and that the reader knows a good amount of stuff already so it kinda dragged at first for me.

I'd say, chakra is the most important factor. At the end of the day, a bullet to the heart kills. 50cal or 9mm. The fact that the protag uses screws is more about his distaste for ninja.

Thanks for your comment. I do appreciate you looking for errors and commenting on them, And, I would be honored if you would do so in the future. However, this is not an error the protag does in fact use regular screws and not Kunai.

Yes, 3K is too much for web-novel, understanding your readership is important. Before you can really have a writing style, in the true sense, you need to understand the basics of writing. For example, what is the deep POV? Does your novel fit into it? Do you consider your novel on the lighter side of the deep POV or is it really deep POV? (Note this question is subjective, to an extent. But, you need to have a reason as to why it is that way.) Fiverr, I've personally never had an issue when it comes to Fiverr, but really any input is good at this point, and if you don't like the input you get from one person, try a different one. you are dissing the quality of novels on this website, I would never recommend taking such a stance. The writers who have a steady readership are there for a reason, try and understand what they are doing for that readership.

I saw your post on the forums and decided to take a look. Here are some quick tips/concerns. 1. These chapters are way too long. 2. The paragraphs are too long making the novel hard to read. 3. The writing itself is wordy. 3 I highly recommend buying a book and comparing the differences in writing style. There is a huge difference in having your own way of doing things, but you do have to know the differences are the cause and effect of what you're doing. 4. Your writing style needs educated feedback, I recommend using Fiverr or something similar. 5, Even if you get educated feedback, your style does not seem to fit web novel in general.

Thanks! Means a lot to me. No cap.

I'll try too, by the way, what are you confused about? My character's goals or something else?

Feel free to ask me any questions.

5 Stars, yep. Anyways, here are some of the questions I think people will ask. How often will you make chapters? - Depends on the response and my ability. While my ability is not something you can control, you can comment, Will you make longer chapters? - Certainly, my first chapter is very short. Will you drop the novel? = Depends on the response.

Your not really adding any value for the reader, as it stands, it's just a retelling of red riding hood. I'm confused, why not use the girl's name? (I'm guessing it's the protag.) I need more reactions from the victim/prisoner?

Extra words pull the reader away from the novel, for example, this could be written like so. The Senator clicked his tongue AS tears flowed down a woman's face and over the ropes that dug into her arms...

I don't even know who the speaker is.

Long words are used needlessly, making the paragraph harder to read/understand.

Preachy,

A good effort. Well done Mr.Cat.

Thanks for all the comments <3 You had asked a few questions, I do hope these answers help you in some way. This line is meant to be a joke. The protagonist had even made a comment about this being a loveless marriage. - I'm sorry it did not land. -There has only been one world change. Most of the story takes place in the game world. -The protagonist does not have memories of the princess, just a headache. You were correct in your guess about the VR thing.