Dialaq

there is no foreshadowing about his fear of bats though? just that he likes batman and batman have a fear of bats too...kind a weak excuse for it

I don't know how to spell it better but I think you should use more "showing" rather than "telling". thank you. other than that I don't have problem with your writting.

hold your libido please

please change 'as the mass murder' to 'as the mass murderer'. thank you

immortallize

i feel like the sentence "Past me Chuuni me would be proud' can be traded with "Past Chuuni me would be proud"