Not quite proud of posting another authors work in here hehe.
2018-12-23 JoinedUnited Kingdom
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okyo9mth
Replied to mao_zi
that's basically people on this site. they don't care about any of the good story or grammar they only care about the fandom it's written in or the sex
wonder if your mc will have one night stands here and there before becoming Gwen's. I mean marvel have a lot of beautiful girls maybe take a bite before committing.
bro this chapter was so unnecessary, like I understand what ur doing but like it's so pointless. there's a difference between showing how bad a character is and then there's the thing where its just needlessly pointless
I must say this is shaping up to be slightly better than the other one. mostly because it has a faster pace than the other one, which is considerably slower. either way love them both
Salem lifted one hand up daintily a laughed lightly in amusement, "Defiance, how nostalgic," she tittered, before her lips pulled up in a more teasing fashion, "But don't lie dear boy. I felt your lust for me the moment you laid eyes upon my body. You may be a Grimm in body now, but your soul is human and you act human, and I am beautiful beyond mortal women."
Zachary timed his run to perfection before pushing off the ground to leap for the ball. His 6-foot-4 physique played its role, and he outmuscled the seemingly helpless Mario Suárez for aerial superiority. And with that, he easily won the ball fair and square before using his head to guide it towards Andrea Pirlo on his left.
yeah it's best if you step away from this story for now since you're getting a burnout. but hopefully once you come back you'll have the motivation ti continue
While the story is above average in this site. the one thing that bugs me is the constant author notes, it ruins the immersion of the reader. next time put the a/n at the beginning or the end of the chapter otherwise it'll be annoying.
bro I did not understand what you were trying to convey with that sentence
He fell into a deep depression, ignoring the pleas of the people closest to him, turning to alcohol to drown his pain. He refused to believe he couldn't fight anymore but his aching knee and constant limp were a perpetual reminder. A reminder of his humanity. A reminder of how weak he truly was. No matter how many times the people around you toot your horn, calling you invincible, all it took was an injury to tell you otherwise.