jaktennison
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jaktennison2yrCommentedlol amazing pun hahaga🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Damn it! My tears are drooling from my mouth."detailA Man Living in the Countryside Would Fly Up to Heaven at DaytimeUrban · the Fiery Passionate Kid- jaktennison2yrCommented
"and she couldn't" here 'she' should be 'he'
Ukake thought of patenting them, but he was a minor in the first place, and she couldn't get his uncles to patent him. Mainly why they won't believe that a thirteen-year-old made a wireless player and say that Ukake copied it from somewhere else. - jaktennison2yrCommented
add between still 'have' nine years
You will not invest in anything, for now. The idea of Bitcoins crossed his mind, but they wouldn't exist until 2009, and Ukake was still nine years that he didn't want to waste. - jaktennison2yrReplied to jaktennison
also 'take' should be 'took'
I take the moment to try something. - jaktennison2yrCommented
here 'I' should be 'he'
I take the moment to try something. - jaktennison2yrCommented
'he' should be 'I'
"Don't worry, he just joked," Ukake said without changing his expression. - jaktennison2yrCommented
took me years' here 'me' should be 'him'
'It took me years to learn and study the various martial arts to create Jeet Ku Do, but that could have been done by me in several hours.' Ukake pondered this for a while. - jaktennison2yrCommented
I' here should be 'he'
"How many shareholders did you have last year?" I ask again. - jaktennison2yrCommented
here 'he' should be 'she'
Somehow, Inaba could sense the feelings and emotions that the color red conveyed. 'This is so?' He wondered in surprise. - jaktennison2yrCommented
Children should be 'eyes'.
"Yes, but I like to say the things that I think, besides, I think it is unfair that you have such beautiful children. My appearance is totally average." Ukake said. - jaktennison2yrCommented
here 'I' into 'he' 'you' into 'he' 'man' into 'girl'
"Hmm, nice eyes," Ukake said. I don't think you should say that to a blind man. - jaktennison2yrCommented
Both 'I' should be change into 'she' and 'my' into her
It is the first time I have raised my voice. I never had. - jaktennison2yrPosted
Author-san the is good but there are lot of mistakes and Siriously I don't want this good story to become spoiler because crude writing so If you haven't found anyone to edit your work reply to me and I will the editing .. I am also writer so I have also made mistakes I can't garantee thorough editing like article or complex grammer . but I will be enough to read without problem...
- jaktennison2yrCommented
'him' change into 'her'
Ukake knew that she was misinterpreting some things, but there was no need to correct him. - jaktennison2yrCommented
change 'him' into 'her'
"Do you need help or something?" Ukake asked him. - jaktennison2yrCommented
change 'he' into 'she'
Ukake instinctively turned his head to see behind him, but there was nothing. "I think he's delusional," Ukake said warning Kokomi to move away a bit. - jaktennison2yrReplied to jaktennison
below this fifth paragraph have also same change
I immediately take a seat next to him. - jaktennison2yrCommented
Again here 'I' change it into 'he'
I immediately take a seat next to him. - jaktennison2yrCommented
'beautiful home' add 'Girl' in between that.
This could serve as training as well, take a beautiful home, it also comes to play that Ukake is thirteen years old and his hormones play an important role in the trial, as well as he was previously a virgin, this will help him to see if he can overcome the common lustful thinking. - jaktennison2yrCommented
here again 'I' should be changed into 'he'
Ukake went to see the other classrooms. I wanted to see what other personalities could be found at PK academy.