zeus999

iwa is fighting against konoha and kumo not konoha and kiri

i don't understand why every author thinks that hyuuga main family would suppress the branch family. Think about it logically the branch family members are the protectors of the main family. It means no matter what they would need to be strong not hamstrung at every turn. It would make sense if the main family is afraid of retaliation and is trying to keep them weak, but the mail family has ultimate control over the branch family through a cursed seal.

Queen Mama's Charter

also try not to change the most iconic and crucial scenes e.g. in arlong park arc there are 3 most iconic scenes 1. Injured Zoro sitting on Arlong's chair after finishing off all the fishmen. 2. Luffy placing his hat on Nami's head after she mutilated her arm and asked for help. 3. Luffy realising what Nami's room( navigation chart room) meant for her and prioritising its destruction. Lock preventing pt. 1 was fine but should have kept pt. 2

In One piece the main character is Luffy, the reason is that despite being dumb as bricks he is possibly the person with greatest emotional intelligence (and some of the greatest instincts) in the whole series. this is the main reason that he becomes so popular and relatable with everyone, an example would be that in the anime nami once commented that Luffy always knows who he needs to fight from the very beginning. In this fanfiction you have made you OC the go between Luffy and his crew, this cheapens his geniune character and takes away what makes him special. My suggestion is that you use Lock for strategic planning that Luffy sometimes overrides during battles (and his childish adventure compulsion ) but follows during planning/training stage. Make it intermittent so that it leaves the readers guessing how his involvement will change the plot either entirely or not at all due to Luffy's luffyness. Just some suggestions from someone who is NOT a writer do with it as you wish .

i think you mean 20 meters not 200

Don't turn power levels into game like levels but keep it as a range. The One Piece world is so good because there is no absolute strong devil fruits and haki can both make the power levels incredibly difficult to judge. Any tricky devil fruit can compensate for lack of haki and strong haki can enable a non-devil fruit user to diminish the adverse effect it has on the person. Then there comes stamina factor while using devil fruits and haki powers. So I don't think that there can be an absolute winner in the higher level fight as the weakness/strength of devil fruits can form a rock/paper/scissor triangle.

should be 9 people no??

finally some sense in SI they usually think that since they know the general events of the future they know everything, not thinking about the basic general knowledge and rules that every real world operates on.

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