Kobayachi

Honestly, you're not wrong to try something different; the drama helps to keep the reader hooked on the story. And even though it's the first story, it's already much better than 90% of the ones on this site, because the vast majority are very poor translations, and others are just repetitive, generalized copy-pasting... And because you replied to my comment, I'll be going back to reading it since volume 2 isn't far from where I left off; sometimes a little sacrifice can be rewarding! 🙂‍↕️🫡 (I'm also hoping for a bloody harem initially, hahaha.)

I was reading your story and I found it very interesting, a good character, I think you have a lot of potential to create stories. But I'm leaving the chapter where Ringo entered Eva's dream. I didn't understand why he was afraid of her because of a memory of the old Ringo with her in bed. If it was just a memory, it doesn't make sense, especially since it's said that the emotions of the old Ringo don't influence the protagonist of the story. I don't know if it was meant to be comical or just a memory lapse, but I found it unnecessary, just to create unnecessary drama between them. Sometimes simplicity is enough to be good; creating too much drama in a fanfic focused on wish fulfillment doesn't make sense, makes the story uncomfortable for some, and can lead them to give up on the series. It's a story to read and pass the time; it needs revision in some chapters because there are grammatical errors, but it has a lot of potential. See you later...

This reminds me of a fanfic on this site where the protagonist started with this kind of bloodline, it's a shame it was abandoned. I hope you continue with yours and I'll be following this journey, even better if there's a harem in the storyline!! ^^

Tftc

I’ve really enjoyed the romance so far (chapter 93). It has its share of difficulties that must be faced; for instance, the text is very messy and sometimes becomes incoherent. The best scenes are the interactions between Severus and the girls. The fights are the weakest point—the scenes are very hard to digest, like plastic, and everything just ends with a snap of the protagonist's fingers. Aside from that, it's a good read. I’m mostly here for the romance with Bellatrix Black, which is very rare to see in HP fanfics.

More chapters please, author! I really like your story, but I have to say that this Percy Jackson arc was very weak/boring for me, but I'm looking forward to the next arcs ^^

He made the comment, but it's really not there, hahaha, you realize it after chapter 3. I regret my revision, hahaha.