Skaystha
a young energetic guy who loves to read novel and beginner writer
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I like story at over all but one thing I don't like it it too much scheming. Yes it is good thing but why like gold expert stephon can be counted for his parents death but he is just subjugating him for schemes. but if saying scheming is good but taking down such characters bring more to emotional development you can have used other ways to hide news but keeping him alive don't sit well it makes me think mc is too inhuman no matter how much he help devlope his sister and rose in a way I feel he just give up on his parents when he just subjugated him instead of eliminating him
here is the point man every thing is good expect 1 thing?? why are you copying and pasting one piece. If I say you are portraying MC as 3rd character view you just made him a mob like. if you don't change any thing or plot just keep MC for mob cleaning job?? you may try to make MC revalent a little as I see you are only copy pasting original one piece MC is just a elite mob which wipes weaker mob. It's not a story man there is almost no development of MC he is just getting stronger as elite mob. as I liked it at start personality of MC but through mid way I just started to doze of as it becomes more and more revalent that it almost copy paste just a little tweak and MC perspective added
hmm this world contain many races so from my point of view you must summon character from fairy tail like Mavis as she is genius tactician and can also help in village management or natsu as I think this world also have dragons and you can't make dragons like chicken who can be killed by anyone so having dragon slayer from start and adopt from current environment is also good . you can try other anime character first as Madara will be hard to control seeing current situation and forceful controlling of him will ruin story because he is op character. he may be summoned only when MC is strong enough to contend against him that will make story line a little bit better