Freader
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author asked for pointers so... here it comes: -use all senses, or the characters and events won't feel as real. for exemple, mentionning the pounding of blood in his ears from fear and pain is more effective than just saying "he was badly hurt" -show, don't tell. It is an universal truth in writting, but here I meant it for character development. exemple: mention of his shivering body, and tears of anguish due to betrayal is more effective than saying "he couldn't believe his Heroes sent his to his death". Honestly, this novel's setting and plot are very interesting and have a lot of potential, but I don't feel involved with the character, to the point I don't know if it will be worth to keep on watching him.