Just a F reader
author asked for pointers so... here it comes: -use all senses, or the characters and events won't feel as real. for exemple, mentionning the pounding of blood in his ears from fear and pain is more effective than just saying "he was badly hurt" -show, don't tell. It is an universal truth in writting, but here I meant it for character development. exemple: mention of his shivering body, and tears of anguish due to betrayal is more effective than saying "he couldn't believe his Heroes sent his to his death". Honestly, this novel's setting and plot are very interesting and have a lot of potential, but I don't feel involved with the character, to the point I don't know if it will be worth to keep on watching him.
Excellent story. Both the character development and the system have original twists that make the story more interesting. The world is building progressively through the character's eyes and the whole results in a grabbing and naturally flowing story. I definitely recommand it.
The setting and characters are a bit cliche, but somehow in a very interesting and compelling way. I am not a fan of overpowered characters but you always seem to make them interesting so I want to give this story a shot. (I still want to read more about "Random" though. I am patient and persistent.)
I have two questions: How come the soldiers let Yman see the fight in the end? How come Yman's storage already had something since he created that account just earlier in the morning and never put anything in it? If it was just not mentioned, you should add it somewhere, it looks like a plot hole.
If that's what magician means, one of my previous worries can just be blamed on a naming sense. I still wonder about the process though. It seems that hollow cell illness is very common. I would think the flying option would be easier to make than the full unique personality of the deity. Weird it is the later that comes before the first upgrade.
The story is certainly interesting and setting has a good potential, but there are points I really hope will be explained in the coming chapters: -How are first skills given? Because I can't think of a system that would be first come first served and still make sense. -What are skills exactly? Because I was really put off seeing mention of fireballs and magicians after you spent so long explaining the setting scientifically. (the RESONANCE part also looked a lot more like magic than SF. I would expect something like the ball melting in the hand, merging with the blood stream and a necklace appearing. For example.) And how does that relate to the positive and negative energies, which are the only basis for everything supernatural in the setting? -What is the relation between the positive/negative energies, the beast's mutation and the way humanity found to fight them? Probably the obvious one, but we were just told on one side the disaster and mutations, then the deity system and limit break, and on the other side an unrelated way to fight monsters. I am worried we will not be told because you even mentioned "there is a reason for the use of gold points" but nothing about those (seemingly more immediately relevant) points. The setting starts strong and well thought out, but the end seems more like a rushed finish to include cool stuffs like magic and a starting handicap for the main character. I just hope the novel quickly decides what it wants to be.