Zero_Things
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Zero_Things6mthReplied to DogDiedYesterdayNot at all. But if I did, then I would let you know that you can get 60% off your annual Grammarly subscription for the remainder of January if you sign up before the end of the month.
I open my eyes, seeing a familiar ceiling, and turn my face to look at my computer that was on my personal desk, "When did I get home?" rising from my bed I start to think. My memories were scrambled and I couldn't remember anything...- Zero_Things6mthCommented
That just sounds overly sexual. It's kinda weird.
I feel the cold water from the tap entering my mouth and seeping down my throat, but the water doesn't seem to satisfy me; I needed more. I needed something to satisfy my thirst, the water didn't seem to be working. - Zero_Things6mthCommented
You use a lot of filler words that just aren't needed. You could have done that whole paragraph in a single sentence and it would have worked better. Now it just feels like I am reading you put down random words without knowing the meaning of them.
The door is literally ripped off the wall. I was shocked at this show of force but I don't have time to admire it, or even question how I was able to do it. I quickly walk into the bathroom and try to turn on the water tap. - Zero_Things6mthCommented
Show don't tell. We don't need to know that something is amazing as long as you use your words and make it sound amazing. Just saying it is amazing is lazy.
I quickly get up, ignoring the sounds of wood creaking from the floor and grab my bathroom door handle, attempting to open the door, but something amazing happens... - Zero_Things6mthCommented
You described being thirsty three times in the same sentence. What does that add to the story?
I try to continue to form a timeline with my memories, but I don't have time for that when I feel unbearable thirst in my throat. It was like I ran a marathon and needed a drink of water! My throat was parched! - Zero_Things6mthCommented
Make it make sense. Leaning your body weight on something doesn't make you strong. It makes you heavy.
I don't remember being so strong; did something happen to me? I start to question myself, and I try to search my memory. But, even though I try to search my memory, I can't find it; it's like something is blocking my memories. - Zero_Things6mthCommented
Why use "badly"? No one would assume that it was hurting goodly.
"Ugh... Who?" I put a hand to my head when I feel it start hurting badly. - Zero_Things6mthCommented
"voice" three times in one sentance
"Victor!!" Suddenly I hear a woman's voice. It was an angelic voice, a wonderfully beautiful voice; and she sounded very worried. - Zero_Things6mthCommented
You said "my" too many times. And if it is 'his' desk. then you don't need to add "personal".
I open my eyes, seeing a familiar ceiling, and turn my face to look at my computer that was on my personal desk, "When did I get home?" rising from my bed I start to think. My memories were scrambled and I couldn't remember anything... - Zero_Things7mthCommented
I have been trying to find a novel worth reading on this site all morning. This might just be what I was looking for. There was no hesitation in getting to the realistic details of childbirth and from what I can understand is that the MC has lived 3 lives before reincarnating into the body of a stillborn child. This seems a lot more interesting than the title and the name of the novel suggest. I might just stick around for a while.
*"My child, I think the new-born may be blessed by the light. There is no need to worry, only to rejoice."* - Zero_Things7mthReplied to whydoineedanamerlyCh 348 Lady Annabeth.
- Zero_Things9mthReplied to karogh
Thank you for reading so far. I'm trying to update more. I've just been dealing with a few motivation issues recently but please stick with me. Once I figure out how to end this arc properly I will update a lot more since there will be a big change :)
Ch 332 Hey there Wolfy. - Zero_Things1yrReplied to Kufa_Tempest
Not saying its a copy. I can just tell that it was written after reading MVS. The opening scene is pretty much the same but just a little different. But the quality and grammar made me stop reading this pretty soon after I started so I can't tell you about the later chapters being the same. Just the start was pretty similar.
After all, Noah was a mere wimpy and non-awakened human who, by chance, got into this school. - Zero_Things1yrReplied to Kufa_Tempest
I see. The sentence was rewritten nice. It actually makes sense now.
Since he heard about this strange jewel that these students had brought into the military school that he had begun to hear this voice, even when he went to sleep. - Zero_Things1yrReplied to Filler1_Name2
Hmm. I didn't see it that way but I would love to know what about that screamed racism to you. I was just mentioning the differences between mentalities of countries in my novel. Although I use name of countries my story is in no way a reflection of those countries. Everything is purely fiction. And the way I imagined China to be here was tranquil and calm and people openly expressed themselves. The way I pictured japan in my novel was a little more serious. With people more concerned about their jobs and scared to break away from the pack and be free. Since the people would still have the war mentality since the great war happened only 30 years prior as which I explained japan was involved in and china decided to stay out of it.
"I kind of missed China. I forgot how calm it was. Japan is nice too of course but the people here actually care about each other. Back in Japan, everyone is absorbed in their own mind." Krista said whilst thinking back to her childhood. - Zero_Things1yrReplied to Oniyx
I realise how creepy that sounds but I assure you its not malicious. he used to be a writer here on webnovel a few years back and taught me quit a bit when I was starting out before vanishing and deleting all his work. I just so happened to find him in the comments here 🤣
After a few minutes of driving, the car seemed to have stopped. Clara looked towards Alex and said, "We've arrived, please follow me closely. This has to be top secret. I will explain a bit as we go on. But before we continue, You have confirmed this opportunity, and You can't take back what you have said. Also, if you leak out anything that you see from now on, there will be consequences." - Zero_Things1yrReplied to LordKittyCat
just a suggestion since over using the same word makes me face palm.
"Shut up already, I am tired of your… cocky attitude… You said that you would give me power, right? If I… stole this… I would… get the power I've always wanted, right?!" asked the young man, his stare seemed completely insane, as his emerald eyes shined eerily.
