If you are enjoying so far then feel free to join the discord and let me know.
Not at all. But if I did, then I would let you know that you can get 60% off your annual Grammarly subscription for the remainder of January if you sign up before the end of the month.
That just sounds overly sexual. It's kinda weird.
You use a lot of filler words that just aren't needed. You could have done that whole paragraph in a single sentence and it would have worked better. Now it just feels like I am reading you put down random words without knowing the meaning of them.
Show don't tell. We don't need to know that something is amazing as long as you use your words and make it sound amazing. Just saying it is amazing is lazy.
You described being thirsty three times in the same sentence. What does that add to the story?
Make it make sense. Leaning your body weight on something doesn't make you strong. It makes you heavy.
Why use "badly"? No one would assume that it was hurting goodly.
"voice" three times in one sentance
You said "my" too many times. And if it is 'his' desk. then you don't need to add "personal".
I have been trying to find a novel worth reading on this site all morning. This might just be what I was looking for. There was no hesitation in getting to the realistic details of childbirth and from what I can understand is that the MC has lived 3 lives before reincarnating into the body of a stillborn child. This seems a lot more interesting than the title and the name of the novel suggest. I might just stick around for a while.
Thank you for reading so far. I'm trying to update more. I've just been dealing with a few motivation issues recently but please stick with me. Once I figure out how to end this arc properly I will update a lot more since there will be a big change :)
Not saying its a copy. I can just tell that it was written after reading MVS. The opening scene is pretty much the same but just a little different. But the quality and grammar made me stop reading this pretty soon after I started so I can't tell you about the later chapters being the same. Just the start was pretty similar.
I see. The sentence was rewritten nice. It actually makes sense now.
Hmm. I didn't see it that way but I would love to know what about that screamed racism to you. I was just mentioning the differences between mentalities of countries in my novel. Although I use name of countries my story is in no way a reflection of those countries. Everything is purely fiction. And the way I imagined China to be here was tranquil and calm and people openly expressed themselves. The way I pictured japan in my novel was a little more serious. With people more concerned about their jobs and scared to break away from the pack and be free. Since the people would still have the war mentality since the great war happened only 30 years prior as which I explained japan was involved in and china decided to stay out of it.
I realise how creepy that sounds but I assure you its not malicious. he used to be a writer here on webnovel a few years back and taught me quit a bit when I was starting out before vanishing and deleting all his work. I just so happened to find him in the comments here 🤣
just a suggestion since over using the same word makes me face palm.