CyclopsSlayer2
Longtime gamer, nascent author
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CyclopsSlayer21yrCommentedWalking by one year is average, cruising, walking while holding on can start much earlier.
This type of growth was not natural as I was still only one year old. My only skill is more effective than I thought. I didn't fully expect it but, my mom and dad were happier than I thought them to be.- CyclopsSlayer21yrCommented
It depends entirely on how apocalyptic the end is. A slow slide into new normality, a bad idea. Does the world become a blasted and charred ruin? Borrow all you want
This book has been deleted. - CyclopsSlayer21yrReplied to darkoneko
Like the little old lady with a coin purse the check-out line... LOL
This book has been deleted. - CyclopsSlayer22yrCommentedCh 4 Ancient Temple Part One
- CyclopsSlayer22yrCommented
You need to run? Then RUN! Brush your clothes off, stop to look around? Are you a complete idiot? It seems so...
Xin Xiao dusted off his clothes. - CyclopsSlayer22yrCommented
Truck-kun just saying hello with a lil' kiss...
With a screech, the Truck stopped after hitting Xin. The driver took off his seat belt and jumped out of the car and went to check up on the dying man he had just hit. - CyclopsSlayer22yrReplied to Recon2024
Changing the 'but' to 'as' makes the sentence work.
Lilith was an obedient eighteen-year-old who obeyed her parent's every order, she was a little tall, slim with curvy edges which caught the eyes of most of the princes but not one of them got her attention but she was not interested. - CyclopsSlayer22yrReplied to That_1_Dude
I was coming here to rage a bit about the shower... :)
This paragraph has been deleted. - CyclopsSlayer22yrCommented
dot-dot-dot dash-dash-dash dot-dot-dot
. - CyclopsSlayer22yrReplied to Lord_Heydrich
By my mysterious dot stealing art, MINE!
. - CyclopsSlayer22yrReplied to ImmortalVirgin_0980
Yes, just what is 'normal. And as I said below, just how are they judged as normal from across a road?'
He was staring at the young man on the other side of the road. This young man was quite average but had a well-toned figure. Outside of the black t-shirt and formal slacks, he was dressed in a black long coat. His pupils were normal, as were his brows, which were normal in shape and size. - CyclopsSlayer22yrCommented
So, just how were his pupils seem from across a road and judged to be normal?
He was staring at the young man on the other side of the road. This young man was quite average but had a well-toned figure. Outside of the black t-shirt and formal slacks, he was dressed in a black long coat. His pupils were normal, as were his brows, which were normal in shape and size. - CyclopsSlayer22yrReplied to Milandaanza
They were! Author/Editor needs better plotline tracking
"My God! This thing is at least level 6!" The men of the Qin Clan wished they had four legs with which they could flee. - CyclopsSlayer22yrCommented
Please, please, please... Indicate a POV change with some indicator, ***** or ===== or something. The change is clear here, but that isn't guaranteed.
"Did that bastard girl survive?" An angry expression appeared on Malvina's pretty, makeup-filled face. - CyclopsSlayer22yrCommented
I agree heartily with the previous commenter that the chapter break should have been before the last 3 paragraphs of the last chapter.
Maia's mother was someone who was obsessed with gold. Because of this, almost everything in her room was made of gold. - CyclopsSlayer22yrReplied to Eunice_GOUNGAMPO
Really lets you see as well as read the story
A tall woman carrying a large darkly polished plywood coffin, wearing it like a backpack, walked slowly along this southbound road. Her leather jacket and jeans were sun beaten, faded and worn, but they were still in good shape. Her shoes still had some sole to them, but they were getting thin. A tattered black Yankee's hat covered her face from the sun and her jet-black hair was tied in a ponytail that dropped down to her shoulders.