lairfin
wuxia lover
of reading
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The world building is terrific, the story leads you where you don’t expect. However the MC’s depression arcs are killing a bit the tempo. Once is okay, but we get it again and again... Another minor complaint : world building of the dregs, those inconsistent numbers about liters and demography (just think about the number of corpses they get) are a little petpeaves for me. If it’s published in books i suggest to review this points a bit.
not sure you would want to work with a spectre that gives diarrhea
my dear uncle, I’m enjoying my vacations in the shadows of the pyramids. Here is a little memory. xoxo Mordret
It would be fun if the nightmare acknowledged the name. For instance in a memory made from one of its planks : ”coming from the ship Chain Breaker, baptized by the treacherous Lost from Light.”
that’s the flag of a broken ship. Sorry this novel makes me paranoid!
rule #1 of the nightmare : never disturb the beauty sleep of a dark tunnel.
Gloomy will be so gloomy to be back!
The Roaring Lion Strike style his first opponents used in dreamscape !
Surprise ! We’re not the Song by the way, just hoodloms of the neighbourhood. Attack !
dying is too mundane
feel the city breaking and everybody shakingand we’re staying alive, staying alive...
digging deeper his grave... That’s why you should keep silence when interrogated
captain Chucky
Hi, a little feedback while I’m dropping the novel after chapter 15. There are repetitive breaks of tense, and confusions in the pronouns of the MC. Those are not prohibitive but the novel might benefit from correcting these.I was coming with expectations about the genre of the novel. First chapter feels optionnal, second chapter would have made a better start right into action. Then we are immersed in the usual school life but still no sign of systems. World is built around the disappearance of demons, with angels. Suddenly they’re taught about space warriors and aliens. I believe you’ll introduce the system soon after but it’s too late for me and the mix of genres is a little bit too much for my obtuse mind. I believe mentioning just fragments of these elements in chapter 2 and 3 would have smoothen things up. Hope that feedback will help you in future works. Good luck and perseverance!