Daz_WN

your back. im back, missed the first update, didnt expect you to replace 97 i was just waiting for the number of chapters on the front page to turn into 98.

bye for now

going to quote some one else's review because they said what i want well enough, but i just want to add to the stories numbers. "I've read this story on literotica and now that I see it here and can actually review it, epic!"

i had 3 things i hoped to see when i wrote a review less than 10 cahpters ago. and with this chapter all of them have been delivered or hinted at. man i feal special. loyalty brought and payed for i guess lol.

loved it, thanks.

from the perspective of the 5 rating catagories this story does very well. but its basically a runaway train with little future thats gotton to where it is now by burning its fuel at maxium rate. its nearly impossible to last more than 80chapters, but it'll be a fun ride untill then

this is an all over fantastic novel. and i cant point out any faults in the story itself. the chapters are very long, it realy adds to the sense that this is a quallity above the standard of a light novel. but the chapter volume is a bit less. even braking them in half might not meet the release rate expectation from the community, and instead could ruin the feel. only this area stops it from apearing at the top of popular novels list

this chapter did not fit in with the rest of the story it was very clear it had been forced in a direction different from the original and i could bearly force threw it. even if you write somthing that fits much better than this, you still need to be cearful doing this when you are asing 90% on a sourse matteiral. or the butterfly affect will create big differances. you will run into a situation where somthing magor is different and you can no longer follow the original. then you will stop the story because you find your work load has increased ten fold when youno longer have half of it done for you

i think this is really good novel, altho we all know most of the world background and story is already written and taken from the movies and tv, the marvel universe has grown to the point that just being able to effectivly jump from one sorce to another and string them into a nice flowing story can already make somthing worthy of a read. the biggest issue would be the system which is compleatly un-needed. the only thing the system has done is throw the Mc into a compleatly different and jaring movie universe for 12 hours that i know nothing about. as a reader is really hits how these fancition type novels relie on you knowing the world background when one chapter is in a world you know and then the next one isnt. it would have been much better to remove the system and just have the mc have the 'abillity absoption' type power and then aquire a dimensional teleport power threw that abillity if the auther really insisted on universe hopping

3 out of 5 areas are perfect, and the world background should be rated even higher, the depth and size is simply too amazing. But the other two area are very poor. There are big problems with the main character, when ever he gets a choice, he chooses the wrong one from the perspective of 90% of the readers. If these were supported by some sorta world view or situation then it wouldn’t be so bad. But the story dosnt set them up that way. Infact it very much does the oppersite and shows he's completely free to make any choice. So when he picks A and 90% of people would pick B he appears very stupid. If the author wanted to guide the story in a specific direction they shouldn’t make the other choice so much obviously better. His child dream was to be a pilot but he had poor aptitude, despite the system showing his aptitude as F the very first time he opens the stat page. he dosnt even mention it or ask it if can be changed. around ch250 he mentions that some people can improve this by a grade or so if they have a brake threw, but he still dosnt mentions himself. its far more than 500 chapters before this plays any role in the story. we could definitely do without a robotic pet cat having a rebellious phase, and the side characters… well despite the size of this novel if you separated out the content of each, none of them have more than a chapter worth of content. The story development is sinfully bad. We need some fanfiction writers to drop in and make better use of this amazing universe. the mc undergoes a major change but he won’t check his system stats for 30chapters to let us readers actually know the details of it. so the ******* is gut churning, then one chapter later it gets partially reversed. But how much so? You’ll probably find the stat line 20 chapters later. So 50 chapters and nearly no net progress. The same development even repeats. so even after acquiring the same power-up twice the story dosnt make them stick. Lots of times he gets new abilities but these are temporary boons, and by the end of the arc only 10% of the power sticks. Just when he gets a lot of system points an arbitrary circumstance requiring him to dump them will pop up. And he constantly has to hand over his, weapon, system watch or other gadgets in order to keep him weak. Very few missions, very few rewards. He's constantly afraid of the system being found so he often dosnt use it. and when he is using its design software, the effect is not conveyed to the readers in any way other than simply saying. Its helpful or its better. The mc’s home planet is very weak, so he has to play base defence, but you know he's not going to loose because developing that company took 400 chapters, its obvious we’re not just going to go back to the start. the story dosnt even insert some small gains to drive progress. so the entire segment can be freely skipped. Then there's a long war where they take the system away preventing the mc from making any progress. This only serves to let side characters who were suppose to be geniuses catch back up, so they can re-enter the story. This is one of the major ‘do nots’ of story telling and really serves as the biggest nail in the coffin. Managing to stop me dead even when I had the momentum of reading a 100 chapters a day