this chapter is really jumbled together, with how the dialogue is all in the same paragraph. if you separate the dialogue into individual paragraphs it would make it so much easier to read.

F

was he raised as a child soldier? if so, his morals should be more skewed than acting like a regular teenager. this scene comes off as her manipulating him more than giving advice. he is acting like a normal teen and not a soldier or assassin in this chapter.

yes you are! I don't know how you found me and entered my home but someone help!

the chapter feels out of place since Grim is on a case but then pov switches and leaves you hanging about what's going on with Grim and Jessica.

system of a down reference?

I'd fail that class.

it's fun watching him interact with both women. they honestly have good chemistry together. wonder what happened to squirrel girl? not that I like the character just curious why she stood him up.

he just made fun of her and then calls out his attack name lol.

I think having Felicia as one of the love interests makes sense from what you have written so far. they already have an emotional connection along with a physical attraction.

thanks for coming back. I enjoy this story since so far it isn't some edge lord mc. if the tone stays like this I would be a happy man. but I also know this is worm so it could flip on its head at any moment. keep up the good work.

nuzlocke the bane of all pokemon players existence lol.

thanks for the chapter. have a happy new year! wonder why a couple of newbies were sent without anyone telling them about Yuna and her group.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! glad your back.

just a suggestion but splitting up the dialogue would make this easier to read. I'm reading on my phone so that may be why but right now it just looks like a couple of long paragraphs with some dialogue in the middle of them.

just a suggestion but I would shorten this to konaha instead of the full name. makes it a little easier on you.

hope you don't use the same trope as last time. with him having to join the other side for whatever reason.

this chapter was good. all I can think about is him yelling "It's so FLUFFY!" while swinging the lion around lol

cool, was just confused. thanks for answering