TheBestSeagull
Wuxia, Game Element and LitRPG Novel fanatic
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TheBestSeagull11mthReplied to Flajavin- TheBestSeagull1yrCommented
He assumend the "worst"
When Han Cai came to the sect, he had assumed the worse. He thought he would be working as a servant in the sect or cleaning the potty for some elders but turned out he got gray robes serving him here just like his servants at home. The comfort was a bit less but he was at least comfortable for twenty months. - TheBestSeagull1yrReplied to MiuNovels
- TheBestSeagull1yrPosted
ok lets start with the obvious. - grammar so bad i cant continue to read this. (a pass through grammarly would already help alot i think) - same old vrmmorpg background, which isnt anything bad per se but that with alot of repeating the same thing over and over again just isnt a fun read. - info dump in ch 5, which is just boring af and somewhat obsolete imo, because you just dont have to explain to the readers in sooo much detail what what does. Its enough to get the point acriss in a way that doesnt take a section of text for each stat or ATP or what you call it here. - this tries to reinvent a part the wheel and fails epically... just call your stats STATS and dont come in confusing everyone with ATP or whatever you use here. - oh suprise neighbour anyone? yeah me neither... why not introduce him earlier when the mc is still at his parents home? would give some more background earlier but whatever. now some more of my opinions: - the start of story should have been WAY more detailed! the more small details the better (as long as it isnt annoing. which can be pretty hard to balance but thats what expirience in writing does to you i guess). 10 chapters where the mc is still at his parents would be more like it. - well you can expand my previos point to everything it just all feels a bit rushed. like the author is some 9 year old adhd kiddy with way too much energy who is trying to explain a complicated maths problem. its just not understandable. also that was just a metaphor and isnt meant to be hurtful to anyone! thanks to anyone willing to read my ramblings xD
- TheBestSeagull1yrReplied to Axes
- TheBestSeagull1yrCommented
"more advanced" souds better than "much-advanced"
This paragraph has been deleted. - TheBestSeagull1yrCommented
in the first sentence did you mean long and not strong Author?
His breakfast was very strong. He was only able to stop feeling hungry after eating the third omelet and drinking the second glass of milk. But as soon as he left the house, Leo was confident. Today was his last free day to hunt. Since today was Sunday, tomorrow he would have to go to school and he wouldn't have as much time available for hunting. So his goal today would be to kill enough Bronze 2 Stars monsters for him to at least reach Bronze Rank 2 Stars. - TheBestSeagull1yrCommentedCh 25 Tiring
- TheBestSeagull1yrReplied to TheBestSeagull
- TheBestSeagull1yrPosted
So first of all, i cant say how the writing quality is in the later chapters because i just cant bring myself to continue to read. Now with that disclaimer out of the way, lets get to my thoughts about it: - The novel is one of the better ones in its genre. Its a pretty original idea (at least as i can asses that) and its not too rushed. - IT NEEDS EDITING! The reason i cant bring myself to continue to read this is, that some sentences just do not make any sense at all or just arent finished. its sometimes almost as if the novel is just a mediocre MTL... so please Author please edit tgis novel. Maybe most of my issues are fixed if you just run this all through grammarly once, but PLEASE fix them grammar errors!
- TheBestSeagull2yrReplied to Noah_w123
- TheBestSeagull2yrCommented
hippity hoppity your designs are now my property
However, Berengar would never admit to it. If he bragged about killing four assassins, nobody would believe him, and those who did would instantly question how a young man with no combat training whatsoever had managed to defeat four brigands by his lonesome. Eventually, the effectiveness of his rifle would be discovered, and his weapon designs would no belong to him alone. - TheBestSeagull2yrReplied to DensyCloudy
or you just put quite high in that spot
I am very surprised by his stats as I never saw anyone above level 20 before. It could assume that he is very good at magic as his MP was quite many. - TheBestSeagull2yrCommentedCh 69 Chapter 69: Nice
- TheBestSeagull2yrPosted
i really like this novel! although i would have liked to see a bit more romance at the end of the novel its also not a dissapointing ending like some other novels have so its a full 5/5 from me
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