Webnovelavatar
1608953840182
TacoKun

TacoKun

Lv4

Calm, Cool and Confident

2018-04-30 JoinedPhilippines
5d

Writing

16.3h

of reading

248

Read books

Badges6

Moments

1039
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun15h
    Replied to CoolBlue0911

    Thank you for your review, and I hope that you will wait for further daily updates. Again, thank you, and God Bless.

    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun18h
    Commented

    Everything was fine. You inserted an inciting incident that pushed the story to its current place. The actions and pacing are kinda okay. I think you should put more unique characteristics to your protagonist. I hope that you built a better setting, anchorized the scenes with fresh sceneries that sets the tone of the story. Well, that's all. Good First Chapter.

    Ch 1 Retirement as an assassin
    alt
    Lumia: Other World
    Fantasy · Mel_Aniv
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun19h
    Commented

    This is too long. Hahaha.

    Ch 1 Retirement as an assassin
    alt
    Lumia: Other World
    Fantasy · Mel_Aniv
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun19h
    Commented

    ???

    "Mwah!" Kissed his mother. Melvin chuckled, impressed with their son's incredible speed of growth. He was such a cute boy. With thick white hair, eyes like a moon, and flawless fair skin. He had such great genes from his parents, especially his father. 
    alt
    Lumia: Other World
    Fantasy · Mel_Aniv
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun19h
    Commented

    Ha?

     'I am a trained killer that assassinates high profiled criminals and big syndicates. After destroying all of them, I decided to retire and build a family with my girlfriend, Jane. We were happily wed and were on our second night when something bad happened.'
    alt
    Lumia: Other World
    Fantasy · Mel_Aniv
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun1d
    Replied to Mel_Aniv

    That's good. You might gain new story ideas and make your novel better. Wait. Don't you have an Editor?

    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun1d
    Replied to Mel_Aniv

    "If time stops'. Hahaha.

    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun1d
    Replied to Mel_Aniv

    Yeah². Don't worry, I'll do it. Hahaha.

    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun1d
    Replied to Mel_Aniv

    Yeah. Sure. It's fine for me, my friend. Can I do it tommorow?

    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun2d
    Replied to CoolBlue0911

    Nice Suggestion. Hahaha.

    Fauric continued to look at her, it was, as if, he wanted to know her thoughts. Of course, he was protective of his sister, and he always makes sure that the servants can be trusted. Although Ada had already served her sister for a couple of weeks, Fauric still wants to ensure her loyalty. If she ever made a sin, then he will disown her without batting an eye.
    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun3d
    Posted

    This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. It feels like heaven to read, I wanna read it so much. If this novel got some drive, then thanked God its still alive. This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. I need this novel like it's quite all right. I need this novel to warm my lonely nights. Just read this novel, cause I... say... Shameless Promotion: Check out my novel: Crowning Cruel Crow. Hahaha. https://m.webnovel.com/book/crowning-cruel-crow_18100192205265505

    alt
    A love called hatred
    Contemporary Romance · ADEPOJU OLAOLUWA ITUNU
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Posted

    This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. It feels like heaven to read, I wanna read it so much. If this novel got some drive, then thanked God its still alive. This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. I need this novel like it's quite all right. I need this novel to warm my lonely nights. Just read this novel, cause I... say... Shameless Promotion: Check out my novel: Crowning Cruel Crow. Hahaha. https://m.webnovel.com/book/crowning-cruel-crow_18100192205265505

    alt
    Mr CEO our love was a set up
    Contemporary Romance · oyeyemi_josephine
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Replied to tired123

    Done. You can now delete the comments. Thanks a lot for pointing out my mistakes and giving some valuable suggestions. I really don't know how can I repay you. If you're not busy, I hope you will read the next chapters, my friend. Your service is always appreciated.

    Fauric noticed Kelzer. Tall, he was, and dashing, with shining emerald eyes, slanting along with his sword-like eyebrows. He wore crimson clothes with rosy collars, fastened with golden lions, and his radiant curly hair wavered as he moved. This guy was too beautiful to hate. But Fauric knew that beneath those charming flesh, a demon lay there, waiting.
    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Replied to tired123

    I use the commas for the tone. Without the commas, for me, the sentence appears boring and sounds like a monotoned robot.

    Fauric noticed Kelzer. Tall, he was, and dashing, with shining emerald eyes, slanting along with his sword-like eyebrows. He wore crimson clothes with rosy collars, fastened with golden lions, and his radiant curly hair wavered as he moved. This guy was too beautiful to hate. But Fauric knew that beneath those charming flesh, a demon lay there, waiting.
    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Replied to tired123

    'There are' seemed too long.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Replied to tired123

    He knows

    "What are the ways that can lengthen my sister's life?"
    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Replied to tired123

    got is fine

    Fauric got his dead heart bleed, for those words darted like daggers, stabbing all of his hopeful flesh.
    alt
    Crowning Cruel Crow
    Fantasy · TacoKun
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Posted

    This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. It feels like heaven to read, I wanna read it so much. If this novel got some drive, then thanked God its still alive. This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. I need this novel like it's quite all right. I need this novel to warm my lonely nights. Just read this novel, cause I... say... Shameless Promotion: Check out my novel: Crowning Cruel Crow. Hahaha. https://m.webnovel.com/book/crowning-cruel-crow_18100192205265505

    alt
    Rebirth: The White Rabbit Loves to Fight
    Sci-fi Romance · CoolBlue0911
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Posted

    This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. It feels like heaven to read, I wanna read it so much. If this novel got some drive, then thanked God its still alive. This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. I need this novel like it's quite all right. I need this novel to warm my lonely nights. Just read this novel, cause I... say... Shameless Promotion: Check out my novel: Crowning Cruel Crow. Hahaha. https://m.webnovel.com/book/crowning-cruel-crow_18100192205265505

    alt
    The Four Kingdom War
    Fantasy · Zheng_Dao
    detail
  • TacoKun
    TacoKun5d
    Posted

    This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. It feels like heaven to read, I wanna read it so much. If this novel got some drive, then thanked God its still alive. This novel is so good to be true, can't take my eyes away from this. I need this novel like it's quite all right. I need this novel to warm my lonely nights. Just read this novel, cause I... say... Shameless Promotion: Check out my novel: Crowning Cruel Crow. Hahaha. https://m.webnovel.com/book/crowning-cruel-crow_18100192205265505

    alt
    The Saness Chronicles: Rebirth
    Fantasy · Anthony_Daniel_2844
    detail