Ellyster
C:\Home\
of reading
460
Read books
Badges
23Moments
15
Ellyster1mthCommentedHere -sensei don't apply since Yaza is not the chunin teacher. It should be some military rank such as -taicho.
The chunin nodded, "Understood, Yaza-sensei."- Ellyster1mthCommented
Here the polite is Ryuji-sensei, not -sama. The usage of -sama is only adequate for nobility (daimio, princesses...), high rank officials (kages, clan heads...) and customers. Also in very very traditional families, it can be used instead of the -san in their family 'title', such as Miwa-obasama instead of Miwa-obasan or the more familiar Miwa-oba.
"But what if you have neither of those Ryuji- sama?" - Ellyster2mthCommented
Usually, thoughts use single quotes 'like this' and dialogue uses double quotes "like this". Being consistent makes it easier to read.
This paragraph has been deleted. - Ellyster3mthCommented
The protagonist knows them, so it's really weird to have them as unknown... feels like a very forced cliffhanger.
[Unknown - Hey, What's up....? It's rare for you to call me that too, so early in the morning.] - Ellyster3mthCommented
Really!? I would expect planes falling out of the sky, trains crashing, people being teleported in the middle of surgery... not to mention all the deaths among the kids that were left alone for six hours.
The whole world is in great chaos right now, people from age 19 to 50 are the ones who run the world, Suddenly causing a lot of chaos. Thankfully it was only for 6 hours before they came back and no extreme damage was done in their absence. - Ellyster4mthCommented
Not good at cooking -> Good, but not professional -> Professional chefWhat a impressive progression for the first 5 chapters, at this pace of leveling the skills he is going to become Hokage by chapter 20.
After thinking about it for a while, Itsuki decided to open a small restaurant, that could be run by him without hiring any additional help. - Ellyster4mthCommented
Dumbledore would have called her "Minerva" rather than "professor McGonagall"
This paragraph has been deleted. - Ellyster5mthCommented
The space before the commas and the dashes after each paragraph are killing me.
It was a dreary and stormy evening the day my life changed drastically. Before I get into all that I should introduce myself , Alexander Drake a fairly normal twenty year old guy all things considered. I have short thick messy black hair and job that barely pays for my rundown one bedroom one bathroom house as well as a small amount put into the rainy day funds under the mattress. Sure it wasn't some glorious existence but I lived alone in two thousand and twenty three America which was quite the achievement let me tell you.- - Ellyster5mthCommented
If you split an A2 in half you get two A3
This paragraph has been deleted. - Ellyster6mthCommented
I think that Tutankhamen's tomb is not a pyramid :(
Carter Dean was a renowned British archaeologist and adventurer, celebrated for his expeditions to the Pyramid of Tutankhamun in Egypt and the Manchac Ghost Swamp in the United States. - Ellyster6mthCommented
I think you are missing a 0, ¥2.000.000 should be around $20.000, not $2.000.
As Noah stared, dumbfounded, at the cheque, his fingers trembled as they picked the certificate up, counting each 0. From what he'd seen, Pokedollars were the equivalent of Yen in his old world, so 2000000 Pokedollars was worth $2000. - Ellyster2yrCommented
In the game of Go you don't have to set up anything, it starts with an empty board. Plus there are no pieces, only white & black stones... they are confusing Go with chess :(
The old man began setting the small pieces and we started playing. As we went on, I thought about how he mentioned using the mindset of a cultivator. For me, right now, the proper move would be to barricade a group of his pieces and block his advance, that's the optimal move. If I were to do that, I'll still be on the defensive, unable to attack, and he will still have the upper hand…I need a move that could turn the tables. - Ellyster2yrReplied to Piggy
As it is an extract, probably italicized text is the proper way to go. I agree, that curly brackets on each paragraph are hard on the eyes.
This paragraph has been deleted. - Ellyster3yrCommented
Should be the opposite, you accelerate the time inside the bubble so that you have 36h inside when only 24h has passed outside.
Cross' proficiency with handling Time became somewhat better, he could slow time now, but only a little bit. Instead of 24 hours a day, if you were sitting inside the Time bubble you would have 36 hours. - Ellyster3yrCommented
Didn't he just killed 3 other cultivators? Is he not keeping their stuff?
This paragraph has been deleted.