billy_hebert
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billy_hebert7mthCommentedCh 26 TSoL Chapter 24 - Weekend- billy_hebert10mthCommented
please tell me this bit stops soon.
"Insect Swarm J-!" - billy_hebert11mthCommentedThis book has been deleted.
- billy_hebert11mthCommentedCh 24 Chapter 24
- billy_hebert1yrCommentedCh 21 TSoL Chapter 19 - Unusual practice
- billy_hebert1yrCommentedCh 9 not a chapter.
- billy_hebert1yrReplied to SoftCrow
what an awful excuse. if that is true then say that in the story not in a comment. this is just poor writing.
'I need to find him!' - billy_hebert1yrCommented
this is actually the worst way you could do it. it ruins the flow of the story .
This book has been deleted. - billy_hebert1yrCommented
this plot point doesn't match up to the fact that he already explained to her that he looked at some memories of hers to know basic human stuff. remember, he knows what Google is so there is no way he doesn't know what a phone is.
But he still had to act like he didn't know anything about it to not seem suspicious. He tilted his head with a curious look on top of Natasha's head :"a phone? Is that the black box that you humans use?" - billy_hebert1yrCommented
just use majesty instead of Ali. Ali is dead and gone.
Ali seriously had to hold himself together so his mouth wouldn't hit the floor cartoon style! Each of those knockers was bigger than her head! - billy_hebert1yrCommented
you are just making those separate stories entirely right? you wouldn't do something dumb like jumping perspectives in the middle of this story for the other versions of him right? because that would make me drop so fast.
And the third one, is that every soul piece can make his own wishes... That was the part where it was mostly fucked up. - billy_hebert1yrCommented
thanks for the chapter King 🤴
This book has been deleted. - billy_hebert1yrCommented
just a little constructive criticism. you need to find better adjectives for your sentences. "Beautiful beautys" and "joyful enjoyment" are both repetitive and redundant. you should try to switch them with synonyms, it will make the sentences sound a lot better.
I stood up and gathered my belongings before waving farewell to my beautiful mother, who kept looking at me with a look of joyful enjoyment on her face as she waved back. It was time for me to take control of this universe and all of its beautiful beauties. - billy_hebert1yrCommented
always remember you need plot for the "plot" to be better. so in other words, develope the relationships and it will make tge lemon scenes better
Do you prefer me to just go for it and fuck Karin right away without character development? (The same goes for all future girls) - billy_hebert1yrCommentedCh 44 Genjutsu Theatre
- billy_hebert1yrCommentedCh 13 Catching Kin for a Sex
- billy_hebert1yrCommentedOdin : You shitty brat... Good good... I hope your dick never gets up again!!!
- billy_hebert1yrCommentedCh 38 Hero Saves Beauty