ShivaStone

Now I realize this wasn’t written by a programmer, but instead a program.

The exact moment I knew this was written by a programmer

The Shadow Hand

Adhd, got alot of ideas but lack the patience for anything but short bursts, my writing tends to be scatterbrained.

I think your character work is very good, showing other people to be multidimensional is where a lot of writers struggle. That in addition to a really clever power system gives a feeling of powerful without being to OP, at least till late game bankai Your biggest weakness is environment. The character in some chapters might as well be living in a white void, try adding the hussle and bussle of konoha, the crowds, the smells (getting other senses involve really add depth to the world). When he's looking over the bodies of bandits, he should feel the biting cold of the night, balanced by the heat of burning buildings. He should smell iron in the air and have his shoes sticky with blood. Sensations take writing to the next level of immersion. Another suggestion I have is to give the MC a hobby. I would recommend either cooking or writing. This gives you a lot of room to stand out among the sea of Naruto fanfics, and rather that following the events of naruto bar for bar, branch out and give the world life. Cooking give an interesting angle, bring food and recipes from our world, giving you more opportunity to bring the sense of taste to your writing. Pizza, hamburger, caesar salad, pasta carbonara, steak au poivre, beef bourguignon, get fancy with it. You could even go in the direction of making alcohol, like brandy or vodka, giving you chapters to go into world building kingdom making mechanics. Having shunsui as a writer fit's with his vibe, and also gives you the option to bring other high quality stories into yours. You could go with a light novel form of a manga like Vinland saga, a classic like the count of Monte Cristo (this one I think really fits shunsui's vibe), demon slayer, the notebook (give a chance to have interesting dialog with Jiraiya), Romeo and Juliet adapted to senju and uchiha. Different character's POV's of reading 'his' works is a very popular trope for a reason, it's interesting to think about how the characters in naruto would like those. Lastly you asked for games, most of the ones I see other people saying are good. Freeze tag for capture missions, minesweaper and the floor is lava for area denial, connect four could have some interesting combos. Chess or Go for large battlefield games, though this could lead to resentment from other konoha ninjas about being sacrificial pieces, Literally. All in all, a really strong start to a naruto fanfic, keep up the hard work.

Really high quality writting. Nice to find a gem like this so early. Keep up the good work and ill keep giving you stones. I was waiting for a good akotsk fanfic

I love your writing. It's such a breath of fresh air, head and shoulders above the usual quality of this website. Such an interesting take of the world of Mass Effect, I don't think I need to put a spoiler warning as it happens in the first chapter, but I really find it interesting that you start when humans first discover the protheans on Mars.

Really solid writing, no AI. I hope in the future you explore his past knowledge of engineering to give the fire nation a technical advantage.

In my top 3 Harry Potter fanfics. Good grammar, long chapters, no AI I can see, well written characters, good world building and political intrigue. If I had any constructive criticism then I would say Harry becomes way too well-adjusted way to quickly after suffering horrific abuse most of his childhood. Keep up the good work, looking forward to the epilogue and any other series you write.

example 8 of AI, this is all in a single chapter btw